After the good news of my most recent scans, I felt like I had a little breathing room! 😮‍💨 Last Friday I had surgery to remove my ovaries and unfortunately the pathology came back positive for cancer. Metastasis to the ovaries is kind of rare and favors a poor prognosis. Since stage 4 breast cancer is mostly treated systematically, I don’t know what this means yet as far as treatment. I meet with U of M on May 10th. April was a whirlwind. I feel like I could drown but God keeps bringing me up for air at just the right time. My little family has to live through this with me and I know it’s rough. I never wanted my storm to get them wet. But here we are, all soaked. My mind races with thoughts. ‘I have to keep up on all my healing modalities at home, appointments next week, I should spend the Summer doing bucket list things, there is so much I need to teach Olive about the world, I have letters to write and videos to save, should I seek out more alternative care options, we should move to a blue zone, why are young women dying of cancer, this is not ok, will I be able to homeschool again next year, I know my body won’t let me down, just keep swimming, breathe, change the laundry, feed the chickens, another check mark off the calendar.’ The chatter is loud and I have to really focus to shut it off. Meditate and pray on the good. I have so many good things in my life. I recenter and move on to something I can control. We aren’t here to pout, we are here to thrive. And that is what I’ll be doing until I can’t anymore. I still fully believe in total healing but I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t absolutely terrifying. Do me a favor and SEIZE THE DAY! 🐝