Journal entry by Linda Amodeo —
Eulogy for Theresa
When I sat down to write this Eulogy about Theresa I thought, “How can I ever do this? How can I describe Theresa in a few words?” It’s like sitting down to write a few words about the existence of God, or the meaning of life.
I’ve know Theresa my entire life, but since she was eight years older than me, I don’t have any memories of her as a little girl. I do remember one story that my dad shared about Theresa that he really got a kick out of. He said that she was little, maybe four or five years old, she and Vince were together with my parents somewhere, and an older guy teasingly tried to take a toy away from her. My dad said she stared him down and told him, “ you don’t take that from me!” He said she had that “ don’t mess with me” attitude as a tiny little girl.
We were so lucky to grow up in Bloomfield, where in those days, particularly on Pearl Street, there were at least three kids in every house on the block. Theresa had tons of friends. She has remained friends with Diane and Eddie to this day, going back all those years. And that is where she met Frank. She recently reconnected with so many other friends on social media and she was so happy everybody picked up right where they left off. Of course we recently heard stories of hitchhiking and drag races on the Bloomfield Bridge, but of course Theresa herself was not “personally involved” in these activities.
Because of our age difference, Theresa and I actually never were in the same school at the same time. I remember the first time I realized my “cool pretty sister” was actually very intelligent. When I was a teen, my friends cousin, a former classmate of Theresa’s asked me, “Are you Theresa Provenzano’s sister?” I said I was and he said, “ Theresa was always the smartest in our class; it was always her and Denise De Pasquale; but Denise was always so stuck up about it, not Theresa. She was always really cool about it.”
Theresa was one of those unique people who was equally gifted in math and science as she was creative. She was an exceptional artist. She did amazing charcoal sketches and was a gifted painter. I remember a painting that she did in high school of a hobo sitting and leaning against a red brick wall. In fact, it was such an exceptional painting that at an art show at her high school, someone actually stole it. Someone, somewhere out there is in possession of a Theresa Garfold original painting. She used to have a portfolio of her artwork in her room and I loved to sneak in there to look at her amazing drawings and paintings. She was excellent with color and design, but captured emotion and meaning in an incredible way.
She considered a career in graphic art, but instead went to Bradford business school. She got her first job as a secretary in the HR department and that led to her amazing 40+ year career in compensation for corporations including PNC, Mylan, Marconi, Towers Perrin and Alcoa.
She achieved status professionally that few others did without having a college degree. She was so diligent, bright, and professional. She was admired everywhere that
she worked and was always willing to mentor and give advice to anyone who needed it. She made friends everywhere she worked over those years and many of them are here today, Antoinette, Sally, Gail, Andrea and so many who stood by her right up until the end. She touched so many lives in her workplace and left her mark with so many. She was professional but always kind, grateful, and humble. She was so proud of her work and always went above and beyond.
The thing that she was most proud of in this world with her family. Being a mother with her highest calling and she gave it all she had. She was so happy when Steve and Mike were born. When their dad died at a young age, she was a single mom who still went camping with all the dads for Cub Scouts and took them to wrestling matches, Sesame Street shows, and vacations. She learned to drive late in life and was somewhat nervous to drive on highways, but she was determined to take them to Ocean City and she said she was scared to death the first time, but in typical Theresa fashion she just set her mind to it and did it.
She was the mom that saved all of her kids drawings and awards. I still remember decorating for Steve and Mike’s graduation parties and she would come in with a huge box of all their cards, drawings, and trophies she collected since they were born. And in that Theresa voice would say, “I think I brought too much.”
In our recent conversations she told me how proud she was of the men they have grown to be. She was so proud of Steve’s intelligence and how well he had done in Louisville, and always spoke of his big, good heart. She was equally proud of Mike and how well he was doing and she was thrilled when he and Melanie got engaged. I remember calling her every day last summer and said “what are you doing today?” And usually the answer was “ I am baking cookies today.” She ended up baking 80 dozen cookies herself and in Theresa style, she showed me how she found the perfect colored sprinkles to match the bridesmaid dresses and how excited she was to surprise Mike with a special pumpkin patch section at the cookie table. She loved Melanie like a daughter and their wedding was one of the happiest days of her life. When I came over she’d always ask me if I saw the wedding albums, and she’d say, “I just can’t stop looking at them.” it was evident how much she loved you all and vice versa up to the very end. She knew you were there and it meant everything to her.
She was like a second mother to my kids, especially after Tom died. Theresa and John spent their vacation with us in Bethany Beach and were there whenever we needed them. Sam spent so much time at their house she used to joke that she was going to claim him as a dependent on her tax return. But she loved them and always was interested in their lives. Her very last comment to me before she died was, “how are the kids? Are the girls starting school soon?” We wouldn’t have made it the past few years without her and John.
She was a second mother to Shirley and loved her as well. She often spoke about Shirley’s good heart and loved her energy. She loved spending time together at Narcisi
Winery and shopping for fish in the Strip District for Christmas Eve dinner. Shirley remind me of a funny story about the three of us having dinner at the Hoffbraus House in the Southside on a Friday night. Everyone was partying and drinking and the three of us were involved in a discussion about the bible and the Book of Deuteronomy. We laughed thinking about what our young waiter must have thought about that. But for Theresa, she could discuss her faith anytime anyplace. Shirley, you were with her every step of the way and it brought her so much comfort.
We are blessed to be part of a big Italian family and Theresa loved it! She enjoyed all the reunions and get-togethers and was very intent on making sure that Melanie met all of the cousins and the whole gang. There were and are a lifetime of memories for all of us and thank you for supporting her, loving her, and praying for her every step of the way.
Theresa was an amazing daughter. She took such excellent care of my mom and dad for many years, especially when my mom got sick. I was amazed at how she lovingly bought special shampoo for my mom‘s silver hair and figured out an intricate system of how to get my mom in and out of the shower, even when her own hands were in so much pain from her chemo. Her amazing example of love and compassion was a witness to all who saw it. She was so often spoke of on how good John was to my mom which brings me to John...
I remember the first time I met John. It ironically was at my dads funeral. I remember right after my dad died asking God to send someone in to Theresa’s life to help her. Now here was this guy, whose name is John, just like my dad, and he was kind enough to come to the funeral home because they really just met not that long ago. I just had a feeling that day that he was the one for her and I was right. They were an amazing couple- they loved good food, wine, Italy, laughter and they shared their strong faith. She was so happy to be his wife and she loved you John with her whole heart. You were with her every single step of the journey right to the very end. Always remember that love never dies.
As a sister, Theresa was everything to me. She taught me to ride a bike. When I was a chubby adolescent, she took me to get a Farah Fawcett haircut and showed me how to use a curling iron. She told me how to apply make up. When I went to my first dance, she loaned me her really cool ruffled shirt and I was instantly cool myself. She encouraged me to go to college and gave me advice about friends, guys, and life. We hung out all the time.. we saw the first Star Wars movie together; Frank, Valerie, Theresa and I went to the drive-in in his ‘shagging wagon’ in the summers, and I used to meet her for lunch downtown all the time. As we got older we shared the best of times and the very worst of times. I never doubted that she had my back no matter what happened and I hoped that I did the same for her. I remember a few years ago telling her that I was worried I was going to end up an old lonely cat lady, and she say logically, “I have this
huge house. You can move in here and we will be the Golden girls. Lots of people do that and it just makes financial sense,” but God had other plans.
Theresa and I had a “warrior sisterly bond” that developed from our early life of so much sadness and tragedy and it bonded us in a unique way. We both lived a history together and we were the only ones that knew it in the way that we did. There didn’t even have to be words between us, it was just a knowledge that we lived it together and in some ways for many years, we only had each other and that always stayed with us.
Theresa never let challenges define her. The toughness and strength she possessed was tempered by her kindness, grace, curiosity, and sense of humor. She was really never bitter and always said, “everything will be okay, it always is.” And you just always believed her. I was with her the day that she found out that she had cancer. She was just waking up after an exploratory procedure. She asked me what they found and I told her. In Theresa fashion, she just said, “Crap that wasn’t part of my plan. ” No crying, no fear, just immediate concern for how everyone else would handle the news and logical analysis of what needed to be done.
We have had many conversations since that day, and I know with certainty that she relied heavily on her faith and trust in God to help her in this battle, as she did in every facet of her life.
She knew that she was going to fight with everything she had, but if it was in God’s permissive will to allow the suffering and to leave at this time, she trusted Him and was at peace with it.
And fight she did. Theresa fought the cancer battle hard and if you have ever been a witness to a loved one in that battle, you know how difficult that battle can be. I cannot sugarcoat it in any sense, because she had moments of incredible pain, fear, and struggle. But today as I stand here, I can say that Theresa’s spirit and soul never wavered. Cancer may have taken it’s toll on her earthly vessel, but the beauty, warmth, and light of her spirit were never defeated by cancer and still remain.
It turns out that riding her Eulogy was relatively easy. A life well lived writes itself. I wondered how to close this and the other day her kids, John, and I were looking at old photos and we found an envelope of the photos that we use to make a tribute board for for my dad’s funeral. Theresa must have printed out some favorite quotes to place on his board and one fell out among the photos.
It was from one of her favorite movies, “The Wizard of Oz.” The wizard says to the Tin Man, “A heart is not judged by how much you love, but how much you are loved by others.”
Theresa, if that is true, based upon the outpouring of love for you, I would say you had the biggest heart of all.
A few days ago, you clicked the heels of your sparkling ruby red slippers together and said “There’s no place like home,” as you crossed over to the place where you made your eternal home with the God you loved, mommy, daddy, Vince, Christopher, Frank, and all that have been there waiting for you. Thank you for loving us and we will love you throughout time and we know with certainty, that you will be there to greet each one of us when we make our own way back home. We love you.
A $25 donation to CaringBridge powers a site like Theresa's for two weeks. Will you make a gift to help ensure that this site stays online for them and for you?
