On this Good Friday, let us remember her. And all she sacrificed in the name of the love she had for all of God’s people.

For those who have not heard, my mom, Mary Hennessey Charles passed into the arms of God. She fell increasingly ill during late February and March. Our final trip to the hospital had left her without the ability to control her nervous system, and therefore could not move much, or speak at all in the last week of her life on earth. She could hear us, though. She would react to our voices and touch sometimes. And she also spent her waking hours staring up above her, looking stunned, excited, and inquisitive as though she saw the most magnificent thing in her entire life. It wasn’t long after that first time, that these moments seemed to comfort her. Many of us felt she was being beckoned to reunite with the Lord, my dad, brother, aunt, cousin Keith, grandparents, and many more. The chills ran across my body as I sat there with her, and knew there were a lot of angels and late friends and family waiting for her to arrive for her homecoming party.

The Most Heartbreaking & Loving Choice

After it was clear she would not survive without a feeding tube, and that she was mostly unresponsive, my brothers and I made the hard but necessary decision to follow her wishes, and put our mom on hospice. It’s a decision we all knew would come, a decision my mom and dad had to make about him when he was ready to go, and now it was up to us. It broke our hearts, but we were comforted to know that, without a doubt, this is what she would want. 

Blessed by the Right Time

Someday I will write a story about our journey in the last few weeks of her life, and how we escaped, by only a day, from being barred from sitting with her in the hospital. We got her home on the 15th of March. Because of the Covid outbreak, most people (aside from my immediate family) were unable to say their goodbyes to her in person. Some people messaged me things to read to her, and I always read every comment on Caring Bridge and every card sent. There were some friends I was able to get on the phone so they could tell her they loved her and how she had changed their life. They were very private, beautiful messages. But I am so blessed to have shared them, & heard them. It really drove home the truth about my mom; No matter her personal circumstances, her mountains of work & stress, or her own physical limitations, she served all of us with unconditional love that was so steadfast, it can only be described as holy; this trusting, forgiving, love emanated from her soul to ours. And that is still true today. 

Living the Gospel

One of my favorite stories about her is when she worked at a Howard Johnson’s diner. My mother’s idea of spreading the gospel, the good news, was not through reading them a bible passage or pressuring someone to mass. She did what we are called to do. Live the word. Serve the lord by loving others. This focus on kindness and love motivated every move she made. One day, a coworker asked her how and why she is so loving and understanding. She told me that was the first moment she ever mentioned God by name to this person. She said she loved and served the lord, and sought to spread the good news by her actions, not just words. This stuck with me, and always will.  

“Rest now, mom, we got it from here.”

In the early morning of March 19th, our mom passed away in a peaceful and painless sleep. She received her last rights from Father Chris from Holy Name of Mary. We had her in our family room; a place Rob, Mike, and I were able to be around her. She heard the joy we felt being with each other, sharing stories, jokes, and observing moments of reverence as she spent her last hours on this earth. We were joined by their loving wives, Jess and Natalie. We sang to her, prayed for her, held her and told her, in our own ways, that the work of her life is going to live on. Through us and through the thousands of lives she touched. We sat down at our dining table, within ear shot of her bed, to partake in the Irish American tradition of Corned Beef and Cabbage. We all believe her hearing us gathered together, laughing and expressing love for each other, set her soul at ease. Later that night we played church hymns, John Denver (specifically my parents’ song “Sunshine on my Shoulder”), and The Parting Glass- an Irish folk song that a dear friend requested we play for her during her passing. After everyone was gone, I sat by her side holding her hand. In her last hour, I prayed for her, held her, and asked God to let her memory live on in the acts of all of us who loved her so much. Then I said to my dad and her sister Carolyn: get the scotch, carrot cake, and playing cards ready; Mom is about to arrive for her heavenly party at Jesus’ beach house. 

She is with God, for whom she lived her life, and I couldn’t be happier for her. 

Thank You A Million Times Over

Before I move on to the service information, I want to apologize to those who were not reached by anyone. Please forgive the delay, and I hope you can understand why it took me a while to post this. More than anything, I would like to humbly and graciously thank you all for your support in thoughts, prayers, vibes, cards, and visiting these last couple of years. It didn’t just help my mom. It helped me. It helped my family. And we are so grateful we had a mom who garnered so much love and so many friendships with amazing people from all walks of life. I hope you will be there for our eventual celebration down the road. 

Celebration of Mary Sunshine

Services will not be until it is safe for us to gather. This means months. I ask, in this time, for you to pray for her (and us), and send me your favorite stories or memories of her. I don’t care if it is two words or 2,000. If you could set some time aside in the next couple of months to do that, it will help me create something for all of us. Her whole community. Email me: graycecharles@gmail.com and use the subject line “My memory of Mary”

*If you wanted to make a small donation in her honor, or volunteer for a cause, please consider some of the places and causes she held close to her heart:

       Holy Name of Mary Catholic Church in San Dimas, CA

       Habitat for Humanity

       Childfund International

       St. Lucy’s Priory High School in Glendora, CA

       Veterans of Foreign Wars

       ACLU

       St. Vincent DePaul

       Vote Save America

       And if she were here, she would also say the Coronavirus Relief Fund

Just One More Thing…

Please take care of each other. Be there (virtually) for all you love during this tragic and horrific time. We were able to say goodbye and hold my mom till she died. There are thousands who have had to say their last goodbyes to their moms, dads, adult children, aunts, uncles- all over a walkie talkie, or facetime if they’re lucky. There are thousands of Healthcare/Hospital workers who cannot touch their children or partner for weeks & months to keep all of us safe. Therefore, I am grateful for our blessed timing, but we must all continue to love and save each other, as my mom would, by following what the scientists and doctors are saying. Stay home, and if you need any help with resources or understanding how to access governmental programs created for C19, reach out & I will point you in the direction of people who can help regarding information on the relief pay, healthcare, and much more. Take care of each other, please. 

With Love, Hope, and Immense Gratitude

      Maggie, Mike, and Rob