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May 12-18

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Just a quick update! Today I was able to go pick up Melissa's cremains from the Cremation Society of New Hampshire. I learned a few things that I think are worth sharing:

  1. Phaneuf Funeral Homes & Crematorium is a very beautiful place, staffed by incredibly nice and helpful people. I implemented Melissa's wishes for cremation via the Cremation Society of New Hampshire, which as I understand it is a consortium of funeral homes, and they were excellent to work with from planning to pickup.
  2. Nothing prepares you for the stress and emotions of driving to pickup remains. I had been slowly preparing myself ever since Melissa's first seizures and brain mets were found, but it was not exactly a pretty sight I'm sure to anyone who looked over from their car. In a related note, I have to somewhat apologize to Jenilee for thinking it was kinda over the top that she pulled over from crying when Melissa told her that Olivia was born - I didn't have a cop pull up behind me, but it can be quite tough to drive with leaking eyes...
  3. Urns are heavy. I was very happy to find one that was painted in the image of her favorite place, the beach, but I didn't really know what to expect. Sure it's metal, but I also pretty much expected a person to... pretty completely combust? When I picked up the urn it was way more substantial than I had thought - not drop-levels of weight, but "solid" and there's no way to forget you are carrying it.
  4. The people who are helicopter-dropped onto power lines to do work are nuts. You could probably pay me enough to do it, but we're talking like 8+ figures. That's way too much trust in another person, a whirly metal magic bird, and the vagaries of random wind or weather events.

With that said, Melissa is now home again. We have a bit of a drowned rat situation going on in New Hampshire right now, but we are safe and sound, and thoroughly enjoying evenings on the porch listening to and watching the rain come down. I don't think there's anything as calming as a good rainstorm, and that is a hill I will die on if you disagree.

Thank you to everyone for your support. We are working on pushing through and finding our footing in the new flow, and while I certainly want to give special thanks to Mary, I do want to acknowledge generally everyone has reached out to offer condolences and support. Olivia started summer school this week and will be off and one the next few weeks, so far she has been doing pretty well but every now and then we have some sad tears but we all are doing whatever we can to help her understand. I think she will be ok, and to help that along I've sacrificed greatly by having a couple of ice cream dates - which she abuses by stealing mine, but that's ok in my book.  We are together working through figuring out a life without the strongest woman I've ever known, and will make her proud.

You can find a full obituary as well as info on gatherings at Everloved

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