It’s hard to believe it has been a year since Jenn left us. I have had countless family & friends reaching out regularly to check on all of us, I thought the best way to keep everyone up to date was with another post here. As you know, Jenn and I had three boys. Although two were from my first marriage, Jenn treated them and considered them her own.  I won’t try to explain how they are doing as this is an individual journey for each of them. They are all finding their way through this at their own pace and in their own way.  Over the last year, we have all learned through this. One thing that sticks out to me the most is that there is no timeline or playbook to follow. It is just something you have to go through in order to find some sort of peace or solace.

A year can go by in the blink of an eye, until you are in the process of grieving such a huge loss. I’ve learned that being a single parent to a teenager is very difficult. I have a new sense of gratitude for everything Jenn dealt with while I was away for work, or the daily effort she put into being a mom to our kids. The fact that she did such an amazing job both at home and at work for extended periods of time, and somehow found time to take care of others or visit family in the midst of it is astounding to me.  Thankfully, I have a great support system with my kids and friends, who are always there when we need something. I can’t thank everyone enough for all that you have done for us. 

Aidan is doing well in school. He managed to make the honor roll during the last semester of his 7th grade year and continued on for his semesters in 8th grade.  He definitely gets the brains and drive from his Mama as Middle and High School were not my strong suit. Aidan has taken a bit of a break from Tae Kwon Do and we are looking for some other avenues to keep him active. He has been working out intermittently with his brother and sister-in-law along with the regular yard work I put him through. If he had his way, we would drive a couch professionally as a master of all things video games. I already have had numerous conversations with him about his future aspirations and making sure he comes into his own for whatever profession he decides on. He is growing like crazy, putting on nearly 4 inches in the last year and 1.5 of those coming in over the last 3 months. He enjoys walking the neighborhood with me, summer days at the pool and working on small projects around the house and hanging out with his older brothers and new nephew. 

For me, I’ve been focusing on doing some of our long lists of projects we’ve had around the house and a lot of exercise.  There is already a ton of upkeep to do, and Jenn had such a vision for things she wanted to do both inside and out. I’ve been knocking those out little by little, which has been therapeutic for me in a lot of ways.  As for my involvement at the Firehouse, a place that has been such a gift for all of us over the years, I needed a break. I took a step back from any type of operational roles like responding on calls for an entire year, as well as most of the teaching aspects through the University of Maryland. During that time, I have had some roles at the firehouse, but they have been limited. At the end of January, I decided to get back into the swing of things as the Assistant Chief. It will be a much more limited role for me, but something I felt was the right time to continue to support my community.  This year two major things happened for me. To my surprise, I was appointed a Life Member at Odenton. Additionally, I was inducted into the Anne Arundel County Volunteer Firefighters Association’s Hall of Fame. This is something normally bestowed on someone with many more years of dedication, a list of names which includes all of my longtime mentors in the fire service. I am so grateful to be included amongst their ranks. 

I’ve made new friends, reconnected with old ones, and continue to spend as much spare time with family and friends much like Jenn and I did together.  I’m trying to live like Jenn did – enjoying all of the little moments, the conversations with our family and friends, the joy of our new grandson, spending Wednesday nights watching Survivor together. As you can imagine, the holidays and this month have been extremely challenging. I continue to be humbled by the outpouring of support Aidan and I receive on a regular basis. It is a testament to what a mark Jenn left on everyone’s life she touched. I still have moments everyday where I miss her terribly, but at the same time find peace in the fact that she chose me as her partner in life. 

I have been gathering photos from every aspect of Jenn's life and plan to post them on a sight for everyone to see. She had so many selfies on her phone, many that I never had seen. I know many of you probably have them, but many of you may not. Once I finish getting it together, I'll send out a link so everyone can download whatever they would like.

Thank you to everyone who continues to support, care for and help all of us through this. 

Much love and gratitude,

Rob, Derek, Tori, Cullen, Camryn, Aidan & Killian