I expect that this will probably be my last post on this site, as there is really nothing more to tell related to Jay's struggle. We held the appreciation event on Saturday, May 5, and it was all I could have hoped for. For those of you who are curious as to what you missed, here is a link to the video clips we showed.
https://1drv.ms/f/s!ApBR9Hgb77ZisHnU2-7akbIIcNLnThere were about 75 people in attendance, the room was lovely, the day was gorgeous, and the food was delicious. We had various displays around the room that captured Jay's life, with scrapbooks people could browse through, a cycling slide show in one corner, and tables with all of Jay's favorite Ohio State Buckeye paraphernalia as well as his scientific papers and professional accomplishments, and other artifacts. People could mingle and browse and eat and converse.
The program we held at 4pm was a labor of love for those responsible for its preparation. Conrad was the official emcee, and did an outstanding job (if I do say so myself as the proud mother...). My brother Sam was the "man behind the curtain" running all the electronics for the videos, and various others helped out to make sure that people who wanted to share stories could do so with the microphone so everyone could hear. My brother in law David outdid himself with the song he wrote, and my nephew Galen took photos and videos throughout the afternoon. The above link will take you to all of that.
I can't say enough about the videos that Sam put together. My goal was for everyone who was there to know the Jay that I fell in love with, and I couldn't have been happier with the end result. Sam had so much material to work with that he didn't make just one video - he made several very short ones. This was perfect because each video had a theme, and between videos people shared memories. It was a lot of fun, and a variety of people told stories, from close family members, to friends, to colleagues. The musical performance that came after the videos was so successful that we had a sing-a-long, which worked out surprisingly well! It was a great mix of serious and funny, interspersed with intense emotion as we looked at the slides and watched the video footage and heard his voice talking to us.
I continue to adjust and heal from the heartache and stress of the past year. On June 10, it will be one year from the date when Jay had the seizure that landed him in the hospital and resulted in the biopsy surgery and the devastating diagnosis. I will be in Tanzania on that date, and am kind of glad I won't be here in Ann Arbor. I'm looking forward to being gone for 6 weeks, and am grateful for the friends and family I have lined up to watch the house and feed the cat while I'm gone. I hope that upon my return I will have a better sense of who I am without Jay, and also that I will be ready to tackle my next phase of life and get back to work at Wayne State in August.
Conrad is plowing forth in his career as a computer science consultant for the FDM Group. As an entry level worker in his first "real" job, he is discovering quickly how to manage his time, figure out his priorities everyday, and learn all the new stuff he needs to know. It is extremely stressful, and for several weeks he was trying not only to learn his new position (FDM placed him at Bank of America only halfway into his 4 month training), search for an apartment (once he was place, he had less than two weeks to move out of the hotel they had been paying for), make trips back and forth to Ann Arbor, and get himself moved. Now that the event is over and he is in his apartment (in Brooklyn), he may have a little more breathing space to get the job figured out. I have every confidence that he will settle into a routine, but these first few weeks have been a little rough for him.
My Kindness Continuum blog is up and running, and if you haven't yet checked it out, I invite you to do so. I try to post something every week, and it is still in the early stages, so feel free to comment, provide feedback, and subscribe if you want to get the notices of my posts. I also welcome guest bloggers. I'm having fun with it, and tend to pour out my thoughts there like I did here, just on a different topic. So if you liked my writing here, you might also like it there. Here's the link:
http://susanlebold.com/kindnesscontinuum/
To all of you who have stood by Jay and Conrad and me throughout the past year, thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is because of people like you that I know Conrad and I will be ok and will weather this storm. Jay will always be in our hearts and I will never "get over" missing him and grieving his loss, but I am confident that Conrad and I will be able to live full lives, even as we struggle now with the surrealness of his being gone, and the visceral disbelief that this horrible thing has happened.
Thank you, and love to all of you.
susan
