Happy Almost spring! 

We met with a Hospice nurse a couple weeks ago and after a long discussion with lots of questions, both the hospice nurse and ourselves decided I am not yet ready for hospice. Sooo…we are in a limbo phase which is kind of interesting. Without having chemo since 1/24, I can feel my brain and spirit coming back to life! It’s quite nice!  My body is not awesome and I have to sit or lay most of the day. This abdominal tumor (named Jabba…as in Jabba the Hutt…Jabba is a fat asshole who takes takes takes and keeps getting bigger) is taking up the majority of my belly, add in a colostomy and a pain pump and there’s a lot going on in my belly! Sheesh!  My taste buds are slowly returning as well! Yay! I still can’t eat very much…cuz of all the reasons above…my stomach is crowded out. 

So while we limbo, we keep carrying on. I try to schedule at least one visitor nearly every day and sometimes overbook myself with 2 or 3 (some things never change! lol).  Please text me if you want to come visit!

We are planning for death. Yes. I said the D word. Please know death is part of life and we are all gonna die someday.  We want my final journey to be comfortable, at home and meaningful. 

But in the meantime…Reece’s senior year of baseball has started (more news on his future coming next week!) and we are excited to watch some baseball!Alan will Sherpa a lot of gear and set me up to stay warm and cozy while watching baseball. 

Before I sign off here…I do need to shout out to Alan. You all know how well he writes…but he is the most selfless, caring and wonderful partner and caregiver. I wish he did not have to take on that role of caregiver…but he’s varsity, A+. His love and care humble me every day. 

In the meantime, dance in the rain for me, state at water or fire and just let your mind go and hug a loved one and tell them you love them. Normalize expressing your gratitude and love…don’t wait until they are gone. 

Love you all,

Sybil, Alan and Reece

Here’s some pics from our trip!