I am very anxious and unsettled for chemo today. I just want to feel normal, look like me, feel like me.... my thoughts are are reflective and sad tonight as I look over pics from this past year. I was finally over the ptsd and guilt of having cancer before - I did the counseling, I started working out and feeling strong, I made changes in my life to have healthy boundaries and relationships. Now I have to rely on everyone again- I’m stuck in cancer again.