This is a hard one. On Thursday, April 11th, we enrolled Sue Dubbs in hospice. Enrolled makes it sound like a fun official word. Maybe she’ll get a cap and gown? We’re not really sure how all this end stage stuff works. We’re just muddling through it.

I’ll do my best to summarize but CancerGPT isn’t working so hot today. Ye Olde Jokes might be at a minimum.

The hardest part to explain to anyone is how fast this downward trajectory has transpired. I think we are all used to the Hollywood cancer narrative where things unfold beautifully, slowly and everyone has Meryl Streep within arms reach for healing. I think our experience has felt quite different.

It is almost one year to the day that Sue began her initial chemo for the ovarian cancer. That’s after already kicking breast cancer to the curb 5 years prior. We all love to frame the cancer narrative around a fight/battle/winner and loser. But while living through this all, that’s entirely not the case. There are no winners. There are no losers. Every day of this is a struggle and Sue muscling through each insufferable moment is a cause for celebration. 

Throughout all of this, Sue has maintained a disturbingly obscene optimistic veneer. She’s now consuming an alarmingly large quantity of chocolate baked goods. We remind her daily that this could compromise her America’s Next Top Model participation. She says the chocolate is worth it and Tyra is overrated. Fair enough, Sue.

As someone who is paid by the character count to ramble on, I’m finally waving the white flag and at a loss for words. All I can say is Fuck ThIs Nonsense. Sue said I was allowed to swear and I am applying that permission liberally.

We love you all and will keep you posted.