Hello Family and friends! I follow many other families on this site and can so relate to what they are going through. I often wonder how they are doing emotionally after such struggles. I find there are many triggers that are still very emotional for me.
I just completed a very long survey for the government on how the pandemic impacted me during and now as restrictions are being lifted more. I wrote a book In the comment section as the impact is still a festering lesion for me. 53 days apart should never have happened. We needed each other and I should have been able to be with him to help care for him. I knew him better medically than any doctor.
Grieving is like the roller coaster ride we were on when Steve got burned and was at HCMC.
Funerals, church, attending celebrations such as graduations and birthday parties are difficult and I become sad again. We have other family and friends going through medical crisis and I feel like a failure as I should be helping and more supportive, but I am afraid of crumbling. My best therapy is being with family, especially the grandchildren.
I finally was able to design something that I could feel good about for the cemetery. I will post pictures when it arrives. That is something so final and forever. I wanted to be able to feel happy and peaceful with my decision.
I still don’t know the outcome with his medical bills as Medicare wanted to be sure we pay them if we got a settlement from a law suit for his death. ThePersonal Injury Protection insurance from the pickup payed $20,000 on his medical bill to Medicare so that made them think more is coming. There is no law suit or settlement so I am waiting for Medicare to finally say they are not pursuing more payment. His bill was over 1 million. Medicare of course only pays 80% of an approved amount an insurance picks up the remaining 20% of the approved amount. Medicare did pay around $350,000.
This year has been a real learning experience for all of us. Thank you to all the friends and neighbors that helped us in any way with this transition and the learning curve I am on. Also Renae at the USDA office. She and Gemma have been so kind and patient with our many questions. I did my own thing and Steve did his own thing. I would do billing and help with tax prep but never learned about what all he did. I regret not being more involved. You cannot imagine how many questions I have for him that I am trying to figure out answers. I know each year will be easier as I have more knowledge and experience but it is a One Day At A Time for now.
I am looking forward to going to Women’s Week at Luther Crest in a couple weeks. I am bringing Graham snd Annie this year. Carly and Jonah are both working at Luther Crest this summer so should be fun to have 4 of my grandkids with me.
Thank you again everyone for your help and kindness. We will soon approach the first anniversary of Steve’ death. I hope we can all be together and do something fun to celebrate that he is enjoying his time in heaven with Kelly. Hugs to all of you!!
Gail
