Steve’s Story

Site created on January 14, 2022

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Journal entry by Steve Langland

I am celebrating today as I am cancer free for one year following my final round of chemo at the end of August 2022. Have had a couple oddities since the surgery. I had a blood clot in my aorta so was placed on Elquist an extremely expensive blood thinner but doesn't require routine lab work like Warfarin does . That clot reduced in size to nothing 3 months ago, so they reduced the dose by half/ As everyone knows, on blood thinners you bruise so easily and bleed like crazy. My arms and other parts of my body looked like I'd been beaten up thanks to my hyper 2 year old Corgi and a large affectionate Border Collie. 

Three months ago at my appointment they found three spots on my liver on the CT scan so that lead to an MRI which fortunately was done in a large bore unit in Onalaska WI so it's not so bad but I still need valium to cope with it. People who take me to the appointments notice I get rather goofy and they'd rather lock in the trunk or stick me in the box of the pickup for the ride home!  The results of that showed the spots were no bigger than the tip of a ball point pen and the senior oncologist wasn't worried about them so we waited three months to recheck.  Today two of the spots have completely vanished,  the third on  examination turned out to be a tiny collection of blood vessels that might have been there since birth and was just now discovered, go figure!!!  The thing, which has about a unpronounceable  name is completely harmless.

I go back in three months again for another check and at that time they will remove the port that is under my skin on my chest since November of 2021. It's required monthly port flushes which can be done in Decorah Same Day Services area.  It's become part of my life.

As I close it's sometimes hard for cancer survivors not to feel survivor guilt despite being healthy when you lose someone you know and have meet during chemo or know and you've begun the journey at about the same time.  It's hard not to wonder why it wasn't yourself. In my case the husband of a classmate passed away about three weeks ago. I feel like I should perhaps have gone instead of him because I'm single and he left behind a wife, children and grandchildren. It's life and as a survivor and again the death hits you differently, I've experienced it several times now. I also encountered  wonderful lady at one appointment who was chatting and said she had terminal cancer and when I said I was sorry to hear that, she said, "don't feel sorry for me I've had a good life and I've peace with creator and I'm going to enjoy life like every day is the first day of my life and never look back!"

We should all live our lives as she is doing and we'd be much happier!

Steve

 

 

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