Journal entry by Mary Kuenzel —
A HEARTFELT AND TOUCHING EULOGY!
Here is the heartfelt and touching eulogy by Steve's middle daughter, Megan Arneson. She has graciously supplied me with a copy to share with you...
"My name is Megan and I’m Steve’s middle daughter. I think I can say on behalf of my entire family, that your support, care and love has meant a lot to us over the past weeks and months as we dealt with a lot of uncertainty with dad’s medical care. I know I’m not the only one here who feels we weren’t ready for another death, another loss and another need to readjust our lives to a new normal. As a work colleague reminded me this week, these are normal emotions and feelings and it’s important that we and I all take time to feel the loss.
Over the years, especially after mom died, I read about grief and talked with a therapist on how to process loss and change. Some wisdom and insight I gained
is that we find some healing through recounting of memories. As we think back
on dad’s life, I know we each have our own recollections of who dad was and there are many quirky tales that could last us days if we tried to recount them all. A common thread that I imagine runs through most of our minds is dad’s ability to bring a smile to nearly everyone’s face with the greatest of ease. Somehow, even in the midst of grief, hardship and less than ideal circumstances, he was able to find a levity in life that some people are challenged to locate. Even after being in the hospital for weeks, he still had the ability to tell a joke or recount an old story that could make anyone smile or laugh. In recent years, some of his stories included jabs at his wife, Mary, hassling coworkers at his job at Mackenthun's and other small-town escapades.
Growing up, we were subjected to much yard and house care and one of dad’s favorite past times was mowing the lawn. He even taught me how to use his riding lawn mower while I was still in elementary school, probably around age 8 or 9. He saw this as a great benefit for someone else to take over. I’d use the riding lawn mower and he’d come home and finish trimming with the push mower. What I don’t think he knew was that one time while I was mowing the lawn, I thought I was in reverse, but then rode right into a tree in front of me. I figured, no damage was done to the mower, so I went on my merry way, albeit a bit rattled.
When we moved to Mayer, he eventually taught me to use the push mower on the lawn and made sure to educate me that if he mowed in one direction, I needed to do it the opposite way the next time. His maintenance wasn’t limited to lawn care, we’re talking about cleaning out rain gutters once a month or so, cleaning the house weekly, ensuring the garage was cleaned every once in a while, and the list could go on. Even when he had his first hip replaced and was still recovering, he insisted the gutters be cleaned out, so up I climbed on the roof with that leaf blower. This all might sound trivial to you, but these are the memories I carry with me and I bet some of you were subjected to these particularities the last few months while dad was hospitalized.
Here is the heartfelt and touching eulogy by Steve's middle daughter, Megan Arneson. She has graciously supplied me with a copy to share with you...
"My name is Megan and I’m Steve’s middle daughter. I think I can say on behalf of my entire family, that your support, care and love has meant a lot to us over the past weeks and months as we dealt with a lot of uncertainty with dad’s medical care. I know I’m not the only one here who feels we weren’t ready for another death, another loss and another need to readjust our lives to a new normal. As a work colleague reminded me this week, these are normal emotions and feelings and it’s important that we and I all take time to feel the loss.
Over the years, especially after mom died, I read about grief and talked with a therapist on how to process loss and change. Some wisdom and insight I gained
is that we find some healing through recounting of memories. As we think back
on dad’s life, I know we each have our own recollections of who dad was and there are many quirky tales that could last us days if we tried to recount them all. A common thread that I imagine runs through most of our minds is dad’s ability to bring a smile to nearly everyone’s face with the greatest of ease. Somehow, even in the midst of grief, hardship and less than ideal circumstances, he was able to find a levity in life that some people are challenged to locate. Even after being in the hospital for weeks, he still had the ability to tell a joke or recount an old story that could make anyone smile or laugh. In recent years, some of his stories included jabs at his wife, Mary, hassling coworkers at his job at Mackenthun's and other small-town escapades.
Growing up, we were subjected to much yard and house care and one of dad’s favorite past times was mowing the lawn. He even taught me how to use his riding lawn mower while I was still in elementary school, probably around age 8 or 9. He saw this as a great benefit for someone else to take over. I’d use the riding lawn mower and he’d come home and finish trimming with the push mower. What I don’t think he knew was that one time while I was mowing the lawn, I thought I was in reverse, but then rode right into a tree in front of me. I figured, no damage was done to the mower, so I went on my merry way, albeit a bit rattled.
When we moved to Mayer, he eventually taught me to use the push mower on the lawn and made sure to educate me that if he mowed in one direction, I needed to do it the opposite way the next time. His maintenance wasn’t limited to lawn care, we’re talking about cleaning out rain gutters once a month or so, cleaning the house weekly, ensuring the garage was cleaned every once in a while, and the list could go on. Even when he had his first hip replaced and was still recovering, he insisted the gutters be cleaned out, so up I climbed on the roof with that leaf blower. This all might sound trivial to you, but these are the memories I carry with me and I bet some of you were subjected to these particularities the last few months while dad was hospitalized.
Another characteristic was his ability to love and care deeply for others. As his daughter, I can very much confirm that he had a stern and serious side, but his generous care was consistently a part of who he was. He took care of those around him and those he was connected to. He was generous with his time, whether that was caring for neighbors or family or tending to the less important things, like the cleanliness of the garage or the tidiness of the yard. He cared not only for his daughters, but also for their husbands and their in-laws. There have been numerous times he has asked me how my in-laws and other friends were doing. And as many of you can attest, his care was extraordinary during my mom’s cancer diagnosis and journey. He dedicated so much time and attention to mom, taking her to medical appointments, carrying her up and down the stairs at home when she was too weak to walk, setting out her breakfast before he left for work, among many other things that put her care ahead of himself. This care didn’t stop, even in his last days, after we had him settled in hospice. One of the final conversations I had with him, at least as much was possible, dad was asking how I was doing and how the baby was. I’m sure you have your own stories about dad’s care for you or those around you.
So much of his care for others and the world he lived in, stemmed from his parents and those who had gone before him. We are all a reflection of those who raised and influenced us and in this case, he was a better father, husband, brother, and friend because of the people who surrounded him. They taught him what it was to care for others, with a strong foundation in Christ. As a believer in Jesus Christ, I’m grateful that both of my parents carried a conviction of faith, hope and love in the One who saves. I’m grateful to have walked alongside my dad through thick and thin, to have created these memories, which barely scratch the surface of his time here on earth. I’m thankful for his faith, which led him to be with Jesus and has spurred me on in my own walk with God. While all of these things don’t erase the pain and heartache I and we all share, they do provide a sense of calm, peace and hope.
Thank you all for being here, sharing with us your time, memories, grief and celebration of my dad."
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