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May 05-11

This Week

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It is with a broken heart that I write this, Steve passed away Friday afternoon. Linds had been running last minute errands in am so she could stay at house with Justin, Mom and I to watch over Steve and assist, she was also picking up lunch for us all.  Hospice RN was here at 10 and increased med dosages frequency which would require refills on Lorazepam and Morphine as well as ordering meds for secretions. Steve was really laboring for breaths, I could not even get a pulse oxygenation reading on him.  Around noon Steve had started what is termed the death rattle which progressed with each breath. Linds got here, Justin ran upstairs to get her to hurry her down to Steve's bedside where we all held him and told him it was ok and gave him encouraging words. He did not pass until the kids said, "it's just o.k. Dad, it's just o.k.", one of Steve's ornery sayings regarding something great. This all happened within 5 minutes of Linds arrival at bedside, I swear he was waiting for her to get here, he tried so hard to speak but no words could come out. I believe with all my heart he was trying to say he loved us when he slipped away into the eternal light. The kids noted the time on the clock as 1:50pm.  Mom left to go pick up Steve's meds right after Linds got here and I had to hurry up and call Walgreens to tell them not to give Mom the refill of comfort meds because he passed while she was in transit. I then proceeded in phoning Rebecca, Hospice RN, to notify her. She arrived and officially called the time of death 2:22pm on 1/7/2022. I am on an emotional rollercoaster that I just can't get off of no matter how hard I try. I have never felt such grief.  God bless you all for your support, friendship, love and words of encouragement.

 

 

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