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Apr 28-May 04

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I knew I would post one last journal entry on this site…and I guess I just felt it would be appropriate to post on Thanksgiving.  As hard as the last few months have been, I just feel so thankful….

I want to start by saying, thank you, to all of you who attended Stephen’s memorial service.  It is just such a tribute to the man he was, to have so many people come and celebrate his life….As unconventional as it may have seemed to some of you, it was what Stephen wanted and I hope I was able to honor him in a way that he would have been proud of…watching all of you tell stories and drink beer and laugh…was such a great joy to me…because that is exactly how I will always remember him…that’s how he wanted all of you to remember him too! 

As challenging as these past 2 years have been, there have been many blessings…These are some of the things I’m most grateful for:

-Our Punta Cana trip…it was the last time that Stephen was still well enough to enjoy himself and spend time with his children…I feel thankful that he was well enough to even go on that trip…because when we got back, he was really sick…none of us will ever forget it… It truly was a trip of a lifetime! 

- Our medical team for keeping Stephen alive as long as they did…we had almost 2 years of memories, that we may never would have had.

- Stephen’s stubbornness…his spirit…his willingness to fight….I love him so much for that! 

- To all of you who reached out  by text, phone calls, preparing meals, sending cards or special goodies, helping with carpools or homework,  going to kids soccer games when I couldn’t, etc.  You will never know how every single effort you made during this journey, was a life saver or a reminder of how people can just be so incredibly kind….I can never repay you for your generosity…except to say…that I will continue your acts of kindness to others…

- Everyday things…that I didn’t even realize Stephen did…or didn’t acknowledge…things like keeping the thermostat at a certain temp (I had to learn when he died, because I didn’t know how…stupid on my part, I know), washing dishes after I cook dinner, sweeping the floors every once in a while (we came home to a disaster of a house..ugh), feeding the chickens, putting flea medicine on the dog, making sure all the doors are locked before we go to bed….there are just so many things that I’m now realizing…..I probably didn’t say “thank you” enough…

- I’m  grateful for Halloween candy…that has pretty much been my diet for the last few weeks…so bad I know…but darn… that stuff is so good and was just such a comfort to me😊

- I’m grateful that we went through cancer world….because of Stephen ‘s diagnosis, he was able to bring so many people together…we were able to reconnect with many friends and family…in a much deeper, personal way…than we ever had in the past…I’m thankful for these rekindled relationships…only he could have done that for our family…I truly do love all of you for giving that to him and to us…He died knowing how much he was loved and that you would help make sure that we are going to be okay because of the amount of support we now have…

- I’m grateful to all of you for allowing us to share this journey with you….cancer world is no longer a part of our journey…but cancer world changed us…it definitely made us stronger, more loving, more grounded.…and we will need all of these things as we learn how to navigate our new journey of being a family of four instead of a family of five..

My message to all of you today, on Thanksgiving, is that there are blessings everywhere…you just have to be open to seeing them…and to recognizing them….even in the hardest of times…they are there…

open your heart, don’t be scared of what life sends your way, love and support one another, and most importantly…never stop learning and growing…

I have no idea what my future will look like, but I do know that with the support of my family and friends, along with my Faith in never forgetting that the Lord is walking besides me and that He will carry me if I should fall…I feel I will be able to continue to keep my eyes open…and see the blessings that surround me each day…and for that…I’m thankful!

I love you all and I hope that today you were able to have a wonderful Thanksgiving 
celebration with your families and friends…

This isn’t goodbye friends…
For me, it will always be, “Til next time friends”💙

Read the latest Journal Entry

14 Hearts

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