Hey everyone, I know it's been a while and I just wanted to give you all a little update. Most of you know. last Fall the cancer spread to my spinal cord and brain causing a seizure. I was hospitalized for about a month and I am still recovering. When I first came home I couldn't walk, write, and at times speak, or find the right words. My mom basically moved in to help with the kids and I as my husband was taking on everything from being the only person bringing in a paycheck, housework, kids, and me. They say you know who your "people" are when tragedy strikes, and I fully believe that. My friends and family jumped in to help any way they could with no questions asked. Some people I didn't even know! As frustrating as recovery has been, it has also been quite humbling. I can walk now, even do stairs if there aren't too many and I am back to driving. For a while, I felt like all I could do was lie in bed and sleep. I could sleep 24/7. Any task, even getting up to get some water seemed daunting and I would be so exhausted from simply walking to the kitchen. I fell into a bit of a depression wanting my old life back. Check on your people, everybody is going through something, even if they keep it to themselves. I started back at my job full time in January and I am so thankful for them and how accommodating they have been to me. Most jobs would have just replaced me in a heartbeat, but mine is working with me. Continuing to work is good for me not just because of the paycheck and insurance, but it serves as a good distraction on my bad days and gives me some sense of normalcy and purpose. I don't qualify for disability, can you believe that? Either work full time while going through chemo or resign and have no income and no insurance. Unfortunately there are a lot of people in similar situations.

Fast forward to the month of April, we took a family vacation to sea world and we had the BEST time. I am so thankful I was feeling well enough to walk the park and ride the rides with the kids. We are making precious memories! We did finally let my mom move back to her house and my husband and I have a system. Basically that system is Brad is superman and does everything and I help when I can. We have started a new bedtime routine that involves snuggles with mommy before bed and the kids climb into my bed with me and we watch a movie and snuggle before bed. This is my most favorite time of the day and I look forward to it every night.

I have had lots of appointments and scans. Most recent scans showed the brain and spinal lesions shrinking, so the treatment is working! Unfortunately the chemo I am on is forever, or until it stops working. This means no bell ringing, no countdown, no end in sight. This fact is what gets me down sometimes, it is difficult to accept this is what the rest of my life is going to look like. The chemo makes me sick, but some days are better than others. On the bright side, my dad takes me to all of me chemo appointments and they usually start with Chik Fil A and a coke (the only drink that settles my stomach). I get to spend quality time with my dad too and that is what I choose to focus on and look forward to when it comes to chemo. Also, a shoutout to my chemo nurses who are awesome and always let me have my own room with a bed and warm blankets!

If you have seen me lately you have probably noticed I am bald once again and most often times when I go out I am wearing my "chemo caps". I have also lost a decent bit of weight due to loss of appetite from the chemo. There have been many times we have gone out to eat in this small town to mom and pop type restaurants and our bill is paid anonymously by a stranger. I can only think it's the bald head and hat, I can't hide it and most people know what that means. It feels so nice to know there are still such caring people out there, strangers even that care enough about me to buy my food. I am still in awe of all of the people and the community that have reached out to help in some way. It's almost overwhelming to think about. 

Overall, I am doing well. I am just taking it one day at a time and enjoying the little things. I remind myself that I have so much more to be thankful and happy for than to be sad about. I'm not saying I don't have my bad days where all I want to do is stay in bed, I think we all feel that way from time to time, just don't stay there.  As always thank you all for reaching out to check on me and all the prayers. Keep them coming, they are working and miracles are happening everyday. Love you all!