I  don't want to make a decision. Mostly because I believe the regimine I am on is working.

I needed another blood transfusion and this means I can't continue the chemo I am on now.

I feel like I messed up by not taking a multi vitamin every day, and I decided no red meat the week and a half before my hemoglobin dropped too low. 

The doctor says I should have told her sooner when I started tiring early, but what could she really do? Test my blood to find out the counts were low then?

I just wish I could go back 2 weeks and tell her that I needed to take a couple breaks before walking up the second flight of steps with groceries. I wish I would have refilled and taken more of my multivitamins.. and my b12 shot I am to take monthly but could take every 2 weeks. What if I had went back to eating El pastor tacos once a week? 

I wish I could change my life, at least the past 2 weeks so I don't have to make a decision. 

I don't want to decide.