Good morning or good night, wherever you are… It’s going to be another hot one. Here in Pittsburgh, a possible high of 93. I just read an interesting article on Daily Mail: “The surprising hobby that could ward off dementia, according to scientists” ~by Xantha Leatham. It is… literacy activities (keeping a journal, writing or using a computer). These people were 11% less likely to develop dementia. The article also mentioned active mental activities (playing games, cards or chess and doing crosswords or puzzles) was linked to a 9% reduced risk for the disease. And researchers found that artistic activities (woodwork, metalwork, painting or drawing) and passive mental activities (reading newspapers or listening to music) led to a 7% reduced risk of developing dementia. The researchers also discovered that “social outings and interactions did not appear to have any effect.” And “According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), there are around 50 million people with dementia globally, and there are nearly 10 million new cases every year. A 2021 study estimated that global dementia cases will nearly triple to reach more than 152 million by 2050…”

The other day, my dad (now with advance dementia-Alzheimer’s after his lung cancer surgery) heated up some coffee in a pot. And thank goodness for the fire alarm. Because I didn’t see or smell it right away. I was outside… It really smelled like wonderful roasted coffee when I walked inside, though! But it was rough cleaning that pot out… I’ve become so used to washing everything by hand, though. My parents haven’t had a working dishwasher in four decades. It pretty much stopped working when they got it. We’ve been doing all the dishes by hand since returning from LA late 2019.

The furthest that my dad gone with his advanced altered mindset was this past Wednesday afternoon. He made a very serious threat, again, and then, went to the bedroom. He closed the door and grabbed his gun. There were no bullets in the gun. However, my dad held the gun case with bullets. My mom was so brave to grab the gun and case with bullets from my dad. And she put the gun in their closet. And I stood in front of the closet until my husband got home. He was helping out my aunts that day. And my mom and I were gone earlier. My mom got her haircut and I drove her there. We’ve been getting our haircuts from a really sweet Christian lady since my youth, Sandy, and she still charges the same since the 1970’s ($7). Imagine.

Anyways, my dad cannot ever be alone. I mentioned to his surgeon, Dr. Que, and his assistant Jeb at my dad’s appointment, followup to his lung cancer surgery, July 6. I said, “My dad has these dark thoughts, from time to time, if you know what I mean..." That morning, my dad wanted to take his life eight times. My family and I talked him out of it. And being in the hospital, again, triggered another hallucination. Before he saw his doctor, he saw some kind of animal run across the floor... Fortunately, I could wave that (imaginary) animal away... But yeah, it's serious. My dad was always a very responsible gun owner. He was a member of our local gun range. I remember going with him when I returned back to Pennsylvania from NYC and also, LA. He was a very good shooter, shot exceptional well. And he taught me all about gun safety. But now, we just crossed a new line with advanced dementia/ALZ. And my husband needed to hide safely all the weapons in the house. He did it when I took my folks to a local park, by the river, for the day. It made me cry, but it had to be done.

Just last week, my dad woke up with all this head pressure/pain. He had no sleep, again. He really wanted my mom’s prescription pills or for someone to seriously knock him over the head! He got really mean about it, too! I instead made him a big bowl of homemade oatmeal with bananas and maple syrup. I read somewhere that oatmeal makes you sleepy. Kyle generally makes his breakfast, but he had no time that morning. He was taking both my aunts for medical checkups and out Ohio. And I was taking care of Sonny meantime. It’s not easy on him being partially paralyzed for almost six months and now fully paralyzed from his cancer. It’s harder on me alone to lift and clean him. But what really helped my dad was the sleeping tabs “Unisom” … agreed well with his blood thinners (Eliquis). He’s finally getting his Zzzz’s!

We are blessed that our Sonny can still can eat and drink enough water. His hygiene is still good. We keep him and his bedding always clean. (I use towels and bed under-pads.) Sonny appears often very happy, just to be with us and now, just looking out the big glass doors … at the birds and animals. It’s just awful … cancer and all his mobility issues. He’s had them almost all his life, ever since he tore his two ACL’s. But his anal gland cancer (from two years back) really took us all by storm. He could not get around without me or Kyle. And he’s so big that he’s hard to lift. But I do. And I have injured myself countless times. It’s amazing what you can do for a loved one, especially in need.

As a caregiver, you have to be so alert … patient … compassionate, understanding, thoughtful, empathetic, communicative, dedicated, flexible, trustworthy, discreet, reliable, etc.… I recall when my Aunt Pam’s family doctor in Ohio asked me what I do now, after my aunt spoke highly of my past history of modeling in New York City and around the world… He said, “Well, looks like you have a real job now.” That was cute. Not just my sweet Sonny, I have supported my folks and others … the best that I can… Kyle and I provided a free cell phone and phone services to my parents since 2005. And since the fall of 2019, when we returned home from LA, we have helped the folks freely, selflessly, in every way …follow care plans, reports, records,… give health-medical advice, monitor changes, oversee their medication and appts. (take their blood pressure and oxygen readings), give 24/7 personal assistance, daily supervision … prepare/cook meals/snacks … shop/run errands (buy groceries, clothing, shoes, household, bath, garden … indoor and outdoor products/supplies, misc.) … do their laundry … household chores, help organize, take care of their property (cut grass, trim bushes, pick weeds, plant flowers, garden, paint, trim/cut down trees, etc.) … home repairs and maintenance, offer transportation … drive them to their appointments, stores … elsewhere, give companionship, provide entertainment … play DVD’s movies … music … have celebrations (decorate for holidays, birthdays), etc..  It’s quite a bit!

Kyle is actually toast and snoring beside me, along with Sonny, as I write … to ward off dementia! He had another long day with my two dear aunts. After taking my one aunt to her doctor’s, he took my other aunt to the ER. She was too ill to go to her cancer treatment center for treatments. Cancer is such a big battle. And she’s fierce, a strong warrior. And I always pray  for her and all my loved ones to get through each and everyday!

I’d love to leave all of you with a beautiful prayer: “Lord, you know me inside and out. You know about my pain and distress. You understand the fears of my heart. At the cross you endured unabating agony. You have gone before me into the darkness And emerged in power and glory. At this time I lean on You. I draw my strength from Your endless love. And live in Your limitless grace. Trusting in You.” Amen. Have a pleasant and peaceful weekend.

Love,
Sonya