It is Scott's birthday today and my last posting.  The moon is in its Waning Crescent phase and  according to the lunar calendar, "In this stage, the moon's illumination is growing smaller each day..."  This passage resonates with me as I watched the Scott I knew gradually slip and turn away from his family and friends... becoming only a thin sliver of who he once was.  As the moon moves through this new phase of darkness, we can no longer see the moon,  although we know it still exists up in our night sky. 

During this last phase of our journey together, Scott and I began assuming different roles that were very different from our original relationship.  Scott lost his use of language, so I became his interpreter.  In the hospital, as he entered a recovery phase, I became his advocate making sure he received his scheduled therapies.  In his final days, as his body grew weak, I became his guide so that he could unburden himself from all that he was carrying.   I understood that this was part of what happens to all relationships that face hardship, that our roles would change, and Scott would no longer be the person that I originally had married.   The moon from far away appears round and beautiful, but in closer examination its surface is riddled with craters, layers of dust, and rocks and astronomers say its shape is slightly flattened. 

If someone were to ask me how I imagine the moon, I think of it always in its full moon stage... luminescent, a glowing ball of light in the darkness.  As I think of Scott and the many phases he passed through, I prefer to imagine him in this stage, when he was whole and bright with his cheerful smile and happy attitude that would always help illuminate the dark moments people were passing through.   Even though you cannot see the moon, you understand it still exists.  I can no longer see Scott, but his acts of kindness and love still exist.  

My sons and I are eternally grateful for all the love, generosity, and exceptional acts of kindness everyone has shared with us.  Your gestures illuminate our pathways every day.  The candlelight tribute to Scott will always shimmer in our minds and warm our hearts as we continue to heal and remember together.