Such Joy..💗

Update Sawyer Grace/ September 9th

By: Jordan Sullivan 

September 9th, we are celebrating! Sawyer Grace has been moved over to wing A in the NICU. There are two different wings in the NICU. The wing we have been in for 73 days is for all the new babies, tiny babies, super preemie babies, sometimes very sick babies, babies with complex medical needs. We have found joy in our stay in the other wing. But today... Today we moved to A. A is where the babies are closer to going home, needing less support medically. In A, we have our own private room where I can shut the door anytime I want. I can sit in there and feel like I'm alone with my daughter. 

I got the phonecall at 3:34pm today. "Jordan, everything is fine, I just had some news... Sawyer is moving." Tears. Lots of tears. I ran out the door of the camper so quickly, drove up to the entrance of the ER like I have probably a thousand times, and surprisingly found a good parking spot on this rainy day... I walked in, trying not to cry... Feeling so much emotion. My baby girl is on her way. We are well down the road. Yes, there are still many challenges Sawyer will face. Feeding, breathing, growing.... But we made it here, to this pivotal moment. This is a huge step that will lead us home. I scrubbed in like I have a thousand times... And looked in the direction of the other wing door... I walked in and to Sawyer's room, saw all of her things sitting on her desk, ready to move, talked to Sawyer's nurse as I wheeled my bedside pump into her new room. Then I turned to go back into the other wing, to see my beautiful child being carried out, like a normal baby, by one of our beloved RTs (respiratory therapist). As we walked to her new room I sniffled and blubbered under my mask. She made it here... She's really really here... And she's doing so well... Lord, can I find the words to express my thankfulness. Can I find the words to express my joy... I know, I cannot. 

We settled into the new room, and I held Sawyer, as she looked around with her big, beautiful, blue, wide eyes, as if to say, "this is new... Where are we?" 

I held her there for a while. I took in that moment. I locked it away in my memory forever. A story to tell her when she's older, of how the goodness of God has been running after her since the day she was born. My heart cannot contain this joy.