Journal entry by Sarah Robinson —
It has been quite some time since I have posted an update and that is because...well, because I just did not have one. But I do now!
I officially finished treatment on December 9th and almost immediately started preventative treatment. My preventative treatment is a daily pill (Anastrozole) and a monthly shot (Zoladex). Shot sucks - it leaves an enormous bruise and its expensive ($2800 per shot, once a month for the next 10 years - peanuts compared to my $33K chemo treatments). Side rant: Pharma companies should be ashamed of themselves. But this is not about that...I can sidebar with anyone who is interested in discussing further.
The silver lining is that I get to see the chemo nurses every month (they are the ones that inject the shot). When I was done with chemo it was bittersweet because I developed great relationships with all of them so being able to see them is awesome. Another positive is that I am blessed to work for a company that has good insurance coverage and I have an amazing job that offers me the opportunity to pay for the medical attention I need for risk prevention.
After treatment was completed it was strange. You go from having a ton of attention, care and concern from medical professionals to going about your daily business. There was definitely an adjustment period. I did not want to make future plans because...what if IT came back? Slowly but surely, that is changing. I wish I could remember who gave me this advice, but lets face it, I spent a majority of 2019 drugged up so unfortunately I do not. Regardless, I was told...do not measure your life on days, but how far you have come. Guess what? They are right! I recently hit my 1 year anniversary of diagnosis and sure as shit...the only thought I had was "look how far I have come." It feels amazing.
So anyway, back to business. I had a follow-up appointment yesterday and I was told I can now say I AM CANCER FREE. It is a happy feeling. A GLORIOUS feeling. A feeling I cannot explain. I could not stop smiling yesterday. Of course, as anyone who has experienced breast cancer knows...getting beyond the 3 year mark and the 5 year mark will be even MORE amazing...I am still incredibly grateful. My friend Jason asked me if I have a new lease on life. He's the type of person I can be really honest with. My answer was "No." I am still me. I still have the same personality. But what has changed is how I prioritize what is important. I have zero problem saying no anymore. I am a much more patient (and maybe even more laid back?) stepmother. I am SLIGHTLY better at not sweating the small stuff...still do...like I said, I am still me.
What's next? Well, for starters, my 40th birthday. And then I have an amazing crew joining me for the Race for the Cure on Mothers Day (Mom, Carrie, Anne, Emma, Kate, Maizy, Shirley, Leigh, Barb, McKenzie). Then reconstructive surgery in June. Also, an elective surgery sometime this fall to have my ovaries removed. Everything in-between that is just fun...weddings, trips, girls weekends, watching my nieces and nephews grow up, dinner dates and intense Skipbo games with my love, and whatever else life throws at me.
Life is good. I appreciate all the love and support. I wish I had better words to express my gratitude, but I do not. I am not the writer in the family (again, that's Anne). I have a full heart and I cry a bit easier than before all of this. All I can say is thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, your prayers, your actions, your friendship. I promise you it will never be forgotten. And with that...mic drop.
I officially finished treatment on December 9th and almost immediately started preventative treatment. My preventative treatment is a daily pill (Anastrozole) and a monthly shot (Zoladex). Shot sucks - it leaves an enormous bruise and its expensive ($2800 per shot, once a month for the next 10 years - peanuts compared to my $33K chemo treatments). Side rant: Pharma companies should be ashamed of themselves. But this is not about that...I can sidebar with anyone who is interested in discussing further.
The silver lining is that I get to see the chemo nurses every month (they are the ones that inject the shot). When I was done with chemo it was bittersweet because I developed great relationships with all of them so being able to see them is awesome. Another positive is that I am blessed to work for a company that has good insurance coverage and I have an amazing job that offers me the opportunity to pay for the medical attention I need for risk prevention.
After treatment was completed it was strange. You go from having a ton of attention, care and concern from medical professionals to going about your daily business. There was definitely an adjustment period. I did not want to make future plans because...what if IT came back? Slowly but surely, that is changing. I wish I could remember who gave me this advice, but lets face it, I spent a majority of 2019 drugged up so unfortunately I do not. Regardless, I was told...do not measure your life on days, but how far you have come. Guess what? They are right! I recently hit my 1 year anniversary of diagnosis and sure as shit...the only thought I had was "look how far I have come." It feels amazing.
So anyway, back to business. I had a follow-up appointment yesterday and I was told I can now say I AM CANCER FREE. It is a happy feeling. A GLORIOUS feeling. A feeling I cannot explain. I could not stop smiling yesterday. Of course, as anyone who has experienced breast cancer knows...getting beyond the 3 year mark and the 5 year mark will be even MORE amazing...I am still incredibly grateful. My friend Jason asked me if I have a new lease on life. He's the type of person I can be really honest with. My answer was "No." I am still me. I still have the same personality. But what has changed is how I prioritize what is important. I have zero problem saying no anymore. I am a much more patient (and maybe even more laid back?) stepmother. I am SLIGHTLY better at not sweating the small stuff...still do...like I said, I am still me.
What's next? Well, for starters, my 40th birthday. And then I have an amazing crew joining me for the Race for the Cure on Mothers Day (Mom, Carrie, Anne, Emma, Kate, Maizy, Shirley, Leigh, Barb, McKenzie). Then reconstructive surgery in June. Also, an elective surgery sometime this fall to have my ovaries removed. Everything in-between that is just fun...weddings, trips, girls weekends, watching my nieces and nephews grow up, dinner dates and intense Skipbo games with my love, and whatever else life throws at me.
Life is good. I appreciate all the love and support. I wish I had better words to express my gratitude, but I do not. I am not the writer in the family (again, that's Anne). I have a full heart and I cry a bit easier than before all of this. All I can say is thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love, your prayers, your actions, your friendship. I promise you it will never be forgotten. And with that...mic drop.
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