Although my blood pressure and blood sugar levels were in normal range, I still had tachycardia, or fast heart rate. My doctors were hoping that as time passed my heart would get stronger because it may too have atrophied along with my other muscles. I still had chronic fatigue but it wasn’t as debilitating as I had experienced during tapering. 

   Although, I had initially been terrified of going through pregnancy and labor again, the idea of having more children slowly crept back into my mind. Joel and I had always dreamed of having a large family. After being diagnosed with Cushing’s and having gone through all that my body endured, I didn’t know if or when I would be able to have another baby. 

  During one of my appointments in August of 2020, I discussed the possibility of having another baby with my physician; and she told that there was no reason to believe I couldn’t or shouldn’t have another baby. She said depending on my cortisol levels and the amount of stress on my body, I may have to take steroid supplements through labor and deliver; but as long as my cortisol remained in normal range, there wouldn’t be any concerns.  

  At that point, I started taking a prenatal to help my body prepare for another pregnancy. By November, I found out that we were expecting another baby and prayed that everything would be smooth sailing this time. 

   Fortunately, I had a pretty typical pregnancy with more morning sickness than I would have liked; but my blood sugar and blood pressure remained low throughout the entirety of my pregnancy and delivery. My endo did periodic cortisol checks to make sure I was not AI, and those levels remained normal even through delivery so no steroid supplements were needed thankfully. On May 26, 2021, we welcomed a beautiful baby boy Archer Bear Johnson into the world! Life was certainly looking hopeful. 

  I am now 3 yrs post-op and although I am cured and in a much better place, my health journey is not over.  I still suffer from chronic fatigue and tachycardia. from the I still have the worst stretch marks I have ever seen on a woman and loose skin. after the weight loss that  I would like to lose more weight, build more muscle, tone up my body and just be a more fit person like I was prior to Cushing’s; but being a working mom with two young children makes it difficult to put my own goals and health needs first. I’m working on doing better everyday and know I will reach my goals one day. 

  I also struggle with mild PTSD from the trauma of Cushing’s. After having so many symptoms and so much damage done to my body, I constantly worry that something is still “off” even though my doctor has endured me that I don’t need to worry and my labs come back normal. I have lost trust in medical practices and worry something will be missed after being told for years that nothing as wrong with me. Although the chances off having a reoccurrence is extremely rare, I still have moments where I worry that it is back, and I will have to go through it all again. I struggle with mild anxiety, slight short-term memory loss, and symptoms of ADD due to the cognitive impairment of high cortisol over extended periods of time; but I am learning to manage. 

    Other days when I am feeling great, I almost forget that I even went through all of it. Sometimes it feels like it was all just a nightmare. I think about how crazy it is that I had to experience something so scary and traumatic at such a young age. When I look back at pictures, all of the pain, hardship, and emotions comes flooding back; and I’m beyond grateful to be alive. 

  I’m so thankful to have my family and friends that checked on, supported me, encouraged me, prayed for me, brought me food, cared for Lily when I couldn’t, or even just stopped by to help around my house so I could nap. Lily, Joel and I would not have survived that year after my surgery with our mothers and my sister, and everything they did for us. 

  Most of all I am beyond grateful for my daughter Lily who is our miracle baby. Pregnancy with Cushing’s syndrome is extremely rare. Even more rare than Cushing’s itself because of the fertility issues and hormone changes caused by hypercortisolism. Abnormally high levels of cortisol block the function of the ovaries. As a result, the menstrual cycle becomes irregular or stops making it difficult to conceive. Getting pregnant with Cushing’s can be fatal for both the mother and the baby. There is a high risk for miscarriage, developing complications, and even heart failure. In the rare cases that women are pregnant with Cushing’s, it is recommended the adrenal surgery is performed during the second trimester. Abdominal surgery in the middle of pregnancy is safer than carrying a baby full term and delivering with high cortisol. Looking back, I knew I had a rough pregnancy, but I didn’t realize just how serious my situation was and how lucky we are that we are both okay.