I woke in recovery at 3:45PM to the sweet sound of my daughter’s voice telling me she was there. My mom and nurses had been trying to wake me, but it wasn’t until Madelyn got up close to talk to me that I actually responded. I was able to say her name, but found it nearly impossible to keep my eyes open. I was told the surgery went perfectly. The tumor had been completely removed and none of my facial nerves had been compromised. I was taken to the ICU for recovery. I remember testing my own hearing in ICU and telling Dr. Youssef that I could not hear in my right ear. He handed me a phone and I could hear the dial tone from my left ear but the same tone was met with silence on the right. The entire right side of my head, felt very swollen and full. Dr, Youssef reiterated that no nerves were compromised during surgery and that the hearing on my right side would likely to return once the swelling came down. Then he told me the worst thing possible; “Sarah, you’ve just had brain surgery, you’re going to need to be patient”.

ICU is a busy place and there was no shortage of people coming in and out every 15 minutes to check my vitals, draw blood, administer meds, etc... The nurse to patient ratio in ICU is 1 nurse for every 2 patients. I had two great nurses, Colo & Allen, during my stint there who worked hard to keep me comfortable. My mouth, eyes and lips were so dry I could barely move them. I hated the catheter because, despite it being in place, I felt like I needed to go to the bathroom. My head hurt and I felt a lot of pressure. I was exhausted but unable to sleep because (understandably) there was always someone trying to wake me up to check on me. I did manage to walk the hallway in ICU with a PT who said I was doing remarkably well and that I needed to slow down.

Around, 1 AM Saturday morning I was transported from ICU to radiology to receive a post surgical MRI so that they could compare pre and post-surgical scans.  My worst claustrophobic nightmare came true as I squeezed the panic button and told them pull me out of the tube. The radiologist called Colo and he came down to administer some anti-anxiety meds that, he later told me, I had declined earlier. That’s when I knew I was clearly not running on all cylinders! Once I was medicated they were able to put me back in the tube. The scans confirmed that the entire tumor had been resected! 

I was moved from ICU to a regular room on the neuro-care floor around 4:00AM Saturday morning.  

Later that morning my catheter was removed and I was able to shower and brush my teeth. The shower felt like the best medicine, I shampooed my hair, which was still braided and crusty with dried blood from where my skull bled and needed a suture during surgery, I ate a little bit, but as the day wore on I became extremely nauseous and felt like my head was a pressure cooker. I knew I needed to eat, but was having a hard time doing so.  The awesome nurses on the recovery floor (Kelsey, Erin and Maddie) worked hard to get me comfortable.  They kept telling me I looked amazing for some one who had just had brain surgery. Unfortunately, how I looked didn’t align with how I felt. I was given a different anti-nausea and pain med by days end which helped me to fall sleep that evening. 

I woke up Sunday feeling like I had a decent night sleep. My head pain was under control and my nausea was totally manageable. I had a small appetite. I walked the halls with my Mom and, while my balance was a little off, I was cruising right along. I continued to self test the hearing on my right side and found there were times I could hear only very faint sounds and other times the sound was much more clear.  Since I was feeling so much better,  wheels were put in motion to have me discharged first thing Monday morning, 

Dr. Youssef checked in on my yesterday morning prior to my discharge. He called my surgery, “miraculous” and said the fact that he was able to remove an almost 3 CM size tumor without compromising my facial nerves was a huge success. I’m pretty sure I’ll be one of his positive case studies! I hear weird things In my brain and right ear. Sometimes I hear the sound of wind on the water and other times it sounds like I’m sitting by a crackling fire or listening to morse code. I suppose those are all my little neurons trying their best to make new connections!

I was so happy to crawl into my bed yesterday by noon. So quiet. So cozy. So happy to have the surgery behind me, and, so very grateful to God, my surgeons, my family, friends, colleagues and clients. My road to recovery is just beginning. It’ll be a marathon, not a sprint. Through it all, I will need to be patient which, ironically, may be the lesson I needed to learn most.