Sam’s Story

Site created on August 20, 2020

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Newest Update

Journal entry by Melissa Southward

I have been reluctant to update on Sam's condition lately. Part of the reason is fear that I'm going to somehow jinx how well he is doing. 

Today Sam started Maintenance Round 4. He had a lumbar puncture with IT Methotrexate (Chemo) and IV Vincristine (Chemo). Watching Sam get to put to sleep seems to get harder with each round. I walk with him, always holding hands, into the procedure room. They allow me to sit next to him and hold him while they inject the white sleepy milk serum into his port. He used to gently nod off. Recently he figured out what is coming and he starts to scream. I hold him tighter and repeatedly say "I'm here. This will all be over soon." Then he falls asleep. I gently lay him in the bed and leave the room. Then I sit alone in the recovery room. Waiting, crying, and praying as my mind screams over and over "I can't wait for this to be over." 

For the next few days I'll relive Sam's cries of fear over and over. Ugga mugga. 

Sam handled the procedure well. He woke up quickly. He was acting super silly telling the nurse all about his Batman bedroom and his "brother" Jameson. 

When we met with the NP we realized that Sam only has 2 more procedures left. The NP asked if we would like to consider taking Sam's port out on the same date as his last LP. This is safer as he will only need one round of sedation instead of 2, but it will have to be done in the OR. We agreed. This procedure is not going to happen until fall, but I was so excited that it was brought up! As Batman says "the night is darkest just before the dawn." Dawn is breaking buddy! We can see it now! 

Sammy got to pick two toys out of the treasure bin. He chose slime for himself and a pink lego elephant that he chose special for Evelyn. It was so sweet, and he was so proud of his decision.  On the way out Sam requested a Subway Sandwich. He walked the hole way to the cafeteria, then finally decided he was to tired to continue. He hoped in the wagon, we made a stop at the pharmacy to refill 6 mediations, then finally made out way home. Everything about Sam was inspiring today. He was brave, and strong, and didn't complain once. He was simply amazing. 

For the next 2 weeks Blake or I will sleep next to Sam. We do this just because his risk of a seizure is higher during this 10-14 day window post IT Methotrexate. Since, his last one happened immediately upon waking, it makes us feel better. Even if it physically does nothing, it helps my piece of mind. Since I can't sleep anyway, I just watch my baby and cherish every breath, 

Today was a blessed day. 

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