The past month has had many challenging times, but also moments where life felt almost normal again. Samuel's chemotherapy that he was receiving during my last update took a toll on Sam's body. It made him very sick, unable to eat or drink, and resulted in a 15 day hospital stay. We watched him lose a considerable amount of weight to the point where his nightly wipe down at the hospital was done through tear filled eyes as I gently cleaned his arms and legs. Everything about this journey is just hard, and we feel completely helpless as our son suffers through these agonizingly heartbreaking treatments. When we left the hospital 15 days after Samuel's treatment he was able to keep most of his food down, but was experiencing significant pain when walking. Over the course of the next few days the pain became so intense that our son, who was running around chasing his sister just weeks prior to treatment, was barely able to stand without crying out in pain. It took over a week for the pain to subside, and for Samuel to begin walking normally once again. We are thankful that this pain seemed to be a side effect of the steroids he was on and not permanent nerve damage caused by the chemotherapy that he received.

Six days after being discharged from the hospital Samuel was due for admission for his sixth round of chemotherapy. As we prepared to leave that morning none of us were ready for another round of chemo and more time at the hospital. This was the first time in the last 5 months that Samuel was upset about having to go back for more treatment. That being said the Lord knew our hearts, and after blood work was done at the hospital we were told that Samuel's body needed some more time to recover before having chemotherapy again. Our admission was moved out another week to February 27. This additional week at home was exactly what our whole family needed. We spent this precious time together making the most of every minute at home, and experiencing one of the best sounds in the entire world the laughs of Emma and Samuel as they played together. The love they have for each other is unmatched and being able to be together and enjoy these moments are everything to us.

Last week Samuel completed his final round of chemotherapy prior to his transplant. Last Wednesday, he was admitted and his chemo was given over the course of three days. We are so thankful that this combination of chemo medications didn't make Samuel nearly as sick as the last round. On Saturday morning we were discharged from the hospital and together at home once again. Although this round of chemotherapy does not make Samuel as nauseated, it is the same medication that gave him mucousitis in December/January. His counts will drop this week and there is a very good chance that we will end up back in the hospital for fever and mucousitis again. We are asking for prayers of protection for Samuel. That although his counts drop God will shield him from infection and prevent any mucousitis from starting. This is a bold prayer but we serve a big God!

The next month will be spent preparing for Samuel's bone marrow transplant. He will be admitted to the hospital to begin chemotherapy for this on April 9, and after 6 days of chemo Samuel will receive his stem cells on the 7th day. This is an autologous transplant, meaning that these are cells that were harvested from Samuel's own body. We are thankful that he is able to have this type of transplant as the risks are much less than if he were receiving cells from a donor. However, the transplant will be a life changing event for our family. Over the past few months we have been receiving information on how to prepare for life following a transplant, and our eyes have certainly been opened along the way to just what this means for our family and for our little boy. We have already begun preparing our home. Thanks to our family we've been able to finish a bathroom and bedroom downstairs. This will allow us to separate Samuel from anyone that is sick in our house after his transplant, hopefully that doesn't happen, but in the event that someone gets a cold we can essentially keep whoever is sick on a different floor from Samuel. Prior to Sam coming home, we will deep clean the entire house, wash all curtains and blinds, have the carpets and furniture steam cleaned, our air ducts cleaned, and wipe down every surface with bleach wipes. We have already purchased air purifiers for our main living areas and Samuel's bedroom. Everything from the food that he eats, to the towels he uses, bedding he sleeps in, and our daily and weekly cleaning routines will all change following transplant. He can't play in dirt or sand, can't drink well water, can't be around any house plants or fresh cut flowers, can't share anything with anyone and the list goes on....Samuel will have a brand new immune system, think like a baby's but worse because a baby is born with their mother's immunity. He will have to be re-vaccinated over the next several years because all of his vaccines will be wiped clean. Life put quite simply will be drastically different. The first 100 days following transplant are most critical and we ask once again for prayers of protection for our son. Also prayers that we do not give into the fear that is ever present in this journey, and that we continue to lay it all at the feet of Jesus.

Thank you to all those that continue to lift our family up in prayer, that have sent cards, messages, and who continue to just bless our family. We are humbled and continue to just feel an outpouring of love from people that we've known our entire lives to people that we have never met. It's difficult to put into words what this has meant to my family, to Sam as we tell him about all the people praying for him and thinking of him. Thank you just doesn't seem like enough; you've helped us get through some of the darkest days and we are so thankful for each of you. Through it all our God continues to carry us. There are so many moments where I don't know how I'm going to get through the day, but God is there holding the pieces of my broken heart. He has carried us when we just couldn't imagine doing another day; how great is His love for us!

Romans 8:35, 38-39

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? …For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any created things, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”