It's been 3 weeks to the day since our last post, and at this point, I roll my eyes and giggle to myself when I reflect on the confidence I had as our family marched into the week of August 16th. I was committed to finally catching our breath-- Ryan would be stable and continue the healing process after his OR visit, Drew would start daily soccer camp gearing up for his fall season, and Eliana was scheduled for a week of loving on animals begging to be adopted at a Humane Society camp.  "Normalcy" was on the horizon!

Jinx!  Drew continued his complaints of sharp pain in his elbow after a typical boy tumble on a tennis court the previous week (translated: a dare for a slurpee to successfully hurdle a tennis net... in which he was unsuccessful).  Sadly, an urgent care x-ray that suggested his arm was broken sent us on to pediatriac orthopedic for confirmation.  Sure enough,  Drew traded that slurpee for a cast from his right hand up to his biceps for 3 weeks.  He'll get it off the second day of school in time to make up his fitness for the remaining fall soccer season.

The day after Drew's arm was casted, Eliana continued to complain of pain in her left thumb.  She had jammed it in a soccer tumble the previous week, and in light of Drew's break, we decided to check the box and take her for an x-ray as well.  While the x-ray showed no break in her thumb, it did unexpectedly show some spots on her left index and middle fingers that did not belong.  After further imaging, it was confirmed that Eliana has multiple enchrondromas (benign soft tissue bone tumors) on both these fingers, and additional followup would be needed.  Luckily we know a great hand guy (insert my shaking head cradled in my hands), and after some email exchanges in a controlled panic, Eliana was added on to Ryan's scheduled appointment with his hand surgeon.  Pediatriac orthopedic also viewed her initial x-rays, and they promptly said yes-- those are tumors--and no, that's not our jam-- we'd like her to be evaluated by pediatriac oncology.

I mean, for real?

An enchrondroma in your hand is most commonly benign, and one is not terribly uncommon.  Multiple, though, seem to drive a bit more of a need to investigate what else might be happening, if anything, outside of her hands.  Eliana will see oncology this coming Wednesday to hear their perspective and determine next steps.  Thankfully we did not have to wait as long for the appointment with Ryan's hand surgeon, and Dr. Chung was not as alarmed, which was very comforting to all of us.  He ordered additional x-rays of both her hands, and they confirmed that the tumors were only located on those 2 fingers.  We did discover, however, that her middle finger is being displaced at the center knuckle joint and is bending towards her pinky due to the pressure of one of the tumors against her bones. I predict this Wednesday's oncology appointment will call for additional imaging throughout her body and will help us develop a better "game plan" and diagnosis.  

Meanwhile, Ryan has spent the past 2 weeks committed to PT for his healing leg and has begun walking pretty well using full heel-toe steps-- an incredible development from his toe walking just weeks ago.  He was also doing OT and learning how to keep his thumb and bottom half of his hand loose, strong, and engaged to prohibit atrophy.   OT has also helped us with accommodations and suggestions for school, and our mental health therapist has given him incredible tools to help him (and us) navigate these unknown waters.  Having a few canned responses ready for the "what happened to you?!" question from the grocery store cashier or barber has proven to be incredibly helpful, and Ryan has been brainstorming ways to minimize the number of times he has to retell his story to his classmates when school begins next Tuesday after Labor Day.

This past Monday, Ryan returned to the OR for the 8th time.  There was some dying bone on his middle knuckle that was shaved down and removed, and the surgeon debulked his skin graft a bit and advanced it forward to cover all open and exposed areas on the top of his hand.  He also used grafts to close the open and exposed bone and skin areas on the pinky finger side of his hand.  If the grafts survive over the next few weeks, this OR trip might mark one of the last he'll make for just a little bit until his hand completely heals on the outside.  From there, everything inside his hand is going to need a lot of love and hard work.  Ryan's 3 fingers barely move, and he'll have tremendous amounts of OT and future procedures ahead of him with the ultimate goal of getting his fingers to move again as much as possible.  This might mean releasing scar tissue in his joints and/or tendons that are "stuck" as a result of all the procedures (and necessary healing time) that have happened since the accident.  We have been told since day 1 that this road would be long-- really long-- and we're certainly experiencing the truth to that statement.  Patience, prayers, and commitment to the best results achievable will be paramount in the upcoming years.  As for now, we're taking things one day (sometimes hour) at a time.

From the depths of my soul, THANK YOU for your continued messages in so many amazing formats-- texts, calls, prayer chain additions, letters, packages, visits, candles lit in churches across the country, secret drop and runs-- each of you continue to lift our hearts and spirits more than you'll ever understand-- especially given the most recent health updates with Drew and Eliana and Ryan's latest OR trip.  It's just been so much.  I'm struggling to respond to anyone in a timely fashion, and I sincerely apologize. I'm overwhelmed with the idea that I'll never be able to adequately express how touching all of your love and support has been to our family-- collectively, you all have lifted us in incredible ways-- and we are deeply appreciative of every single effort that has been made to remind us that we can do (really) hard things.  Life continues to tick on despite accidents and appointments and troubling news, and I'm sure so many of you can relate.  Kids don't stop moving, houses don't stop getting lived in, and laundry continues its normal relentless accumulation.  The structure of starting school will bring smiles and excitement to our household, and Tuesday can't come soon enough.

Lots of love and deep appreciation for anyone who has made it this far in my lengthy rambles.  There were days and days that went by that I couldn't do more than just shake my head in bewilderment about all the "things" going on in our house, and I'm learning that writing all of it down helps me to process some of my own frustrations of feeling behind, like I'm living under a rock, and sadness that I can't pack up the kids for a walk in the woods or a dip in the pool.  This too shall pass, I know, and our community of family and friends rallying behind us and waiting to step in with any help we need has been the biggest cozy blanket we could ask for.  Thank you. <3