Journal entry by Deidre Brown-Aguilar —
This week I made the conscience effort to be open and honest about what has been happening for the past few weeks. This week I decided to open up to everyone about what is happening with my son. This has been a tough few week, emotionally and spiritually, and I realize the love and support of others is what I need most to help get me through this difficult time. I just need to read or hear a kind word or positive message, receive a hug in person or even virtually, but most of all knowing people are PRAYING for my family.
This year has been nothing but a disaster, to say the least, but 2020 wasn't done with me yet! It has just sent a blow to my heart on November 18, 2020, and I am in shock. I never would have predicted in a million years, that a pain in my son's right leg would turn into a diagnosis of CANCER! This day will forever change my life!
I don't know what to say, to think, or feel other than shock, anger, and sadness. On November 27, 2020 it was confirmed that it is Metastatic Osteosarcoma! I am so lost for words! I am so numb! My cousin was getting married that day, and I was planning on surprising her but after the news I couldn't fathom leaving my child, for even 5 minutes. So, we watched her nuptials together on the couch, on FaceTime! Though it wasn't the same, it was extra special, because Ryan and I watched it together, while my husband and Jaden, his brother, were there in person!
This road ahead is the most difficult road I have ever encountered. I turned 40 in September and had so many plans and goals, but God said I have a different plan for you! This is the road I want you to travel! Where it will lead only God knows but I am taking each day, one moment at a time. This journey and where it leads is out of my hands but in the medical team selected to take care of my son. God is the only one who knows the outcome, but I am trusting in him to spare his life and minimize that pain and suffering that may come his way due to the treatment of this cancer!
I must admit Ryan has been SOO BRAVE and STRONG! He's been a trooper through this entire process. He's taking it all in stride, and still has that beautiful big smile on his face! That smile means so much, every time I see it. It's just so Big and Bright!! When I see it, I know everything is going to be ok! I am praying for more days with smiles.
This year has been nothing but a disaster, to say the least, but 2020 wasn't done with me yet! It has just sent a blow to my heart on November 18, 2020, and I am in shock. I never would have predicted in a million years, that a pain in my son's right leg would turn into a diagnosis of CANCER! This day will forever change my life!
I don't know what to say, to think, or feel other than shock, anger, and sadness. On November 27, 2020 it was confirmed that it is Metastatic Osteosarcoma! I am so lost for words! I am so numb! My cousin was getting married that day, and I was planning on surprising her but after the news I couldn't fathom leaving my child, for even 5 minutes. So, we watched her nuptials together on the couch, on FaceTime! Though it wasn't the same, it was extra special, because Ryan and I watched it together, while my husband and Jaden, his brother, were there in person!
This road ahead is the most difficult road I have ever encountered. I turned 40 in September and had so many plans and goals, but God said I have a different plan for you! This is the road I want you to travel! Where it will lead only God knows but I am taking each day, one moment at a time. This journey and where it leads is out of my hands but in the medical team selected to take care of my son. God is the only one who knows the outcome, but I am trusting in him to spare his life and minimize that pain and suffering that may come his way due to the treatment of this cancer!
I must admit Ryan has been SOO BRAVE and STRONG! He's been a trooper through this entire process. He's taking it all in stride, and still has that beautiful big smile on his face! That smile means so much, every time I see it. It's just so Big and Bright!! When I see it, I know everything is going to be ok! I am praying for more days with smiles.
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