Today marks 5 years since the hardest day of my life. Five years since the dynamic of our family changed forever. I don't know if I will ever have February 27th pass without reliving every waking moment of that day. It's easy to dwell on how scared we were. It's easy to have images pop into my mind of my little 5 year old hooked up to countless lines and machines, or him standing over a bowl puking, shaking from fever and asking mommy why he had to do this. It's easy to remember the doctor's concern over his multiple unanswerable fevers; easy to remember the many, many nights in the hospital. 

As time has moved on though, it's become easier to just enjoy the moments of him as a thriving 10 year old without the nagging doubt of "what if it returns". It's easier to just let him be a kid and not try to protect him from everything. It's easier to let days and even weeks go by in which we forget that part of our journey and just live in the now. It's become easier to see the incredible faithfulness of the Lord through all of it, even when we thought we would lose him. 

Today I am just so thankful. What a year Ryan has had! He only has to go to the clinic every two months and each time he looks better and better. He did a full day aptitude test to see how chemo may have affected his cognitive abilities. Even the little concerns that were found we are confident he will be able to overcome them!

At school, he did cross country, soccer and basketball this year. His coordination has improved so much! His left foot no longer drags to the side when he runs. He even tries to take on his big brothers! 

In January, he was granted a Make-A-Wish and he chose to see Jurassic Park at Universal Studios. I could write a book about how amazing this organization is, but if you ever have an opportunity to support them, please do. They blew us away with their kindness and generosity! It was so healing for our whole family to be together and to just have FUN. 

Last week, Ryan was also able to go on his 10 year old trip with dad. Each child has gotten to go on one of Richard's work trips with him when they turn 10. Ryan picked New Zealand of all places, and what a trip they had! 

So today, I choose to dwell on the good- the joy that has come from this journey. It's not how I would have chosen to do this life, but I am so thankful that God knows more than I do. He can see the big picture, and as I learn to fully trust Him, the peace and joy he gives really is endless. 

Thank you to everyone that has loved and supported us these last 5 years. We are truly blessed with an incredible village all over the world! We love you all!