Journal entry by Cheryl Donohew —
Hi everyone,
It's been a very busy month since the last update about Mom. We have continued the 24/7 supervision by piecing together a schedule of friends and family (a huge thanks to all who helped make that possible!). During this time, she has continued with Speech and Occupational therapy at home. Additionally, I took Mom to many doctors appointments, continued to evaluate her home situation, and spent much of my time on the phone researching resources (and finding out how much I don't know about home elder care).
During this time we were able to better determine what Mom's strengths and weaknesses are. She is able to handle much of her normal daily routine - dressing, making simple meals, straightening up the house, and other small tasks. On the other hand, she can forget to turn off the stove burners, gets a bit confused about her pills, and intermittently has difficulty reading clocks and understanding time (AM vs PM/day vs night). She has lost some self awareness, which interferes with her ability to realize her own deficits. So, as we set a few ground rules to keep her safe in the house, she has trouble understanding why they're necessary and forgets that they exist.
The doctors have all suggested that she move to a higher level of care, but Mom is adamant about staying in her home. As a family, we've decided that we will try to make this happen as best we can, as long as we can keep her safe. We have hired a number of people to help with this: an aide from an agency comes every morning (this in accordance to the long term care insurance requisites that should eventually pay for some of her care), and two private duty caregivers for the evenings. (Thank you Shannon for screening all the applicants and Jim, Jean, Corey and Nini for helping me with the interview process!) The primary responsibilities of these caretakers is to ensure safety with taking medications and preparing meals, especially when using the stove.
One of the new caregivers started this week. We all like her a lot, but Mom just sees her as an intruder. Understandably so, as she still questions why this is necessary. Hopefully, in time, Mom will come to accept this and enjoy the company of these caring individuals.
Which brings me to the final part of this long update... Mom loves having friends and family visit, come over for dinner, or go out for lunch or dinner. Engaging in any aspect of her pre-stroke life is very comforting and normalizing for her. If you would like to do anything with Mom, I would appreciate it if you would contact me and we're asking that you give at least a week's notice of your plans. In fairness to the caregivers we've hired, I need to give them some advance notice that we won't need them on a given night or that we may need to shorten a shift; And we don't need to pay a caregiver for unnecessary hours. I know this may be inconvenient at times, but it's a necessary part of this process. I hope this won't deter anyone from spending time with Mom, as she very much appreciates being able to be social.
Additionally, it is important that everyone is on the same page about her plan of care - Mom may have negative things to say about caregivers being in her home, but we have tried to make it clear that this is what is required for her to stay at home.
Again, I want to say thank you to all who took time out of their busy lives to stay/help out with Mom over the past two months. A special thanks to Jim, Jean and Corey for filling in last minute many times and helping me in the day to day tasks; to Shannon, Meghan, and Lynelle for coming home to provide extended care, and to everyone who helped out during that one crazy week. Thanks for giving so much time and effort in providing physical, emotional and therapeutic care for Mom (and yes, sometimes me as well). I couldn't have gotten through these last two months without your help.
All my best,
Cheryl
It's been a very busy month since the last update about Mom. We have continued the 24/7 supervision by piecing together a schedule of friends and family (a huge thanks to all who helped make that possible!). During this time, she has continued with Speech and Occupational therapy at home. Additionally, I took Mom to many doctors appointments, continued to evaluate her home situation, and spent much of my time on the phone researching resources (and finding out how much I don't know about home elder care).
During this time we were able to better determine what Mom's strengths and weaknesses are. She is able to handle much of her normal daily routine - dressing, making simple meals, straightening up the house, and other small tasks. On the other hand, she can forget to turn off the stove burners, gets a bit confused about her pills, and intermittently has difficulty reading clocks and understanding time (AM vs PM/day vs night). She has lost some self awareness, which interferes with her ability to realize her own deficits. So, as we set a few ground rules to keep her safe in the house, she has trouble understanding why they're necessary and forgets that they exist.
The doctors have all suggested that she move to a higher level of care, but Mom is adamant about staying in her home. As a family, we've decided that we will try to make this happen as best we can, as long as we can keep her safe. We have hired a number of people to help with this: an aide from an agency comes every morning (this in accordance to the long term care insurance requisites that should eventually pay for some of her care), and two private duty caregivers for the evenings. (Thank you Shannon for screening all the applicants and Jim, Jean, Corey and Nini for helping me with the interview process!) The primary responsibilities of these caretakers is to ensure safety with taking medications and preparing meals, especially when using the stove.
One of the new caregivers started this week. We all like her a lot, but Mom just sees her as an intruder. Understandably so, as she still questions why this is necessary. Hopefully, in time, Mom will come to accept this and enjoy the company of these caring individuals.
Which brings me to the final part of this long update... Mom loves having friends and family visit, come over for dinner, or go out for lunch or dinner. Engaging in any aspect of her pre-stroke life is very comforting and normalizing for her. If you would like to do anything with Mom, I would appreciate it if you would contact me and we're asking that you give at least a week's notice of your plans. In fairness to the caregivers we've hired, I need to give them some advance notice that we won't need them on a given night or that we may need to shorten a shift; And we don't need to pay a caregiver for unnecessary hours. I know this may be inconvenient at times, but it's a necessary part of this process. I hope this won't deter anyone from spending time with Mom, as she very much appreciates being able to be social.
Additionally, it is important that everyone is on the same page about her plan of care - Mom may have negative things to say about caregivers being in her home, but we have tried to make it clear that this is what is required for her to stay at home.
Again, I want to say thank you to all who took time out of their busy lives to stay/help out with Mom over the past two months. A special thanks to Jim, Jean and Corey for filling in last minute many times and helping me in the day to day tasks; to Shannon, Meghan, and Lynelle for coming home to provide extended care, and to everyone who helped out during that one crazy week. Thanks for giving so much time and effort in providing physical, emotional and therapeutic care for Mom (and yes, sometimes me as well). I couldn't have gotten through these last two months without your help.
All my best,
Cheryl
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