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Hi Everyone!

It has been quite some time since I have provided an update on my mom, and our family thought that now was more than ever the time to reach out to everyone! 

As some of you may know, Rose has been living on her own, with daily visitors coming in and out to keep an eye on her. On September 17, we made the difficult decision to move Rose to a long-term dementia care home. This transition has been very hard for our family, but knowing that she will be safe and cared for keeps our mind at ease. Fortunately, because Rose has become so apathetic, this transition has not been too difficult for her. To maintain some of her privacy, we are not going to publicly disclose the name of the home she is in, but we want to assure everyone that she is getting top-of-the-line care from a care team that we absolutely love. 

Her facility is a small group home with about 8 other residents who are cared for by an in-house nurse and rotating care team. This way, she is seeing the same people every day and will be comforted by the sense of familiarity that provides. She seems to spend her days watching TV, taking her walks around the yard and house, and lately, counting every tile on the floor. If you know Rose now, you know that those are some key activities for her (she's obsessed with counting😊). We have family visits 4-5 times a week, so she gets to see her kids, her siblings, or her parents almost daily. We've been bringing games to play with her, we have dance parties, and we bring her Taco Bell any time she requests (often, the woman loves her some Taco Bell😂). She also has made friends with some of the other residents, and is not the only one under 60 in her house. Her care team has mentioned how much life and activity she has brought to the house, saying she gets the other residents on their feet. Are we surprised, though? That's the Rose we all know and love! 

Right now, only family is allowed to visit her on a limited schedule due to COVID-19 restrictions. We are hopeful that we can spend some time with her over the holidays, but as of right now she is not allowed to leave the house to protect her and the other residents from COVID-19. We ask that if you are going to reach out to Rose, you do not ask to visit her or express sorrow for her being there. She has seemed to settle in very nicely, and we do not want to associate any negative connotation to her new home. It is quite the amazing place, it is beautiful, and it provides the ideal forever-home for Rose to spend the rest of her life here with us. If you choose to reach out, please be sure that it is just to say hi or to tell her you miss/love her! She still has her phone, but we have set some restrictions, so there is a chance she will not get back to you. Around the holidays, we will post her address for those wanting to send her cards!

With that being said, Rose's move to a long-term care home obviously means that she has progressed quite a bit over the past 8 months since her benefit. Luckily, COVID-19 allowed Luke and I to be home with her from March to July. This stupid virus was a blessing in disguise for our family, and gave us some much needed quality time with our mom before the next stage in this disease. It was kind of funny actually, as she had seemed to be on a timeline of having a large progression every 3 months like clockwork. While Luke and I were home, she didn't seem to have a major progression until August. We think we provided her some much-needed guidance and care as this god-awful disease took its course. 

Unfortunately, we saw a pretty steep decline when Luke left for school and I started my career. She started to go behind other people's houses on her walks, showed a distinct lack of ability to differentiate between right and wrong, and had continually become more apathetic day by day. Sadly, her short term memory has left her, and she is pretty much always "in the now". We've heard from plenty of people who have said "you will know when it's time when everyone agrees it's time," and we could not take the risk of her being home alone anymore without the ability to take care of herself. Our number one priority is that she is safe, and moving her gave her that. We are so grateful that she is with a team of professionals that not only care for her, but are extremely educated on how to manage her as her disease progresses. 

I also wanted to say a massive thank you to each and every person who attended her benefit or donated to her cause. Because of you all, we are able to afford the care that she is getting, and are in a place where we think we can provide that care until she decides it's time to leave us. We are forever grateful for the support you all have given us and her throughout this odd and unpredictable journey. My mom chose some pretty amazing friends, didn't she?😊 

We continue to take this day-by-day, as hard as it is. We miss her a lot, and the memories of her before FTD sometimes feel like a lifetime ago. But, those memories provide a sense of joy to this whole situation, and remind us that the soul that was there then is still in there somewhere now. I have attached some pictures (and will upload more to the gallery) from the past few months for you all to get a glimpse of her current situation, and some memories from our final days at home with her. I love you momma -- holding you in my heart forever. 

Sorry for the long read, and again, thank you all for your constant support. We love you all. 

Lexei Mann


For those reaching out about ongoing ways to donate, checks can still be made out to the "Rose Fogarty Special Needs Trust" and mailed to the address below.


Kim Williams
306 Abbey Point Ct.
St. Louis, MO 63129



 


 

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