I’m approaching three years since I first heard the words that way too many people hear…you know the ones…the words that involve the dreaded “C” word.  It was November 30th, 2020 when I was received my official cancer diagnosis.  I was hoping by this time, that moment would be such a distant memory that I would have forgotten that date.  I’ve never been the best at remembering specific dates and times.  Half the time, I feel like most of my memories were actually dreams and not something I have truly experienced.  So, it kind of surprises me that after three long years, I still remember that day as vividly as if it had happened just yesterday.  Maybe in another three years I’ll be far enough out from all of it that I might only be able to recall that it happened sometime in November of 2020.  Maybe in another three years after that, I’ll only be able to recall that it happened sometime in the year of 2020.  And if I’m really lucky, maybe another three years after that, I’ll only recall that it happened a REALLY long time ago!  But, for right now, it is still pretty present in my memory and I guess that is ok too.  I’m writing this post mostly as a reminder to myself that one day I will be off of my meds and that I will once again be able experience life in a body that feels normal and not like one that has been run over by a stampede of elephants.  It’s crazy what a single, teeny tiny pill can do to wreak havoc on a body.  Most days, I try not to think about it and try to convince myself that my achy joints, muscles, fingers, knees, neck, hips, chest are all a part of getting older.  But man, the past few months things have been almost unbearable to tolerate.  The best way to describe how I feel, is that I feel like a 51-year old woman trapped in a 100-year old body!  I remember when I first spoke with my Oncologist about what my treatment plan would be, she said “If I had it my way and if your body can tolerate it, I’d like to keep you on these meds for a minimum of 10-15 years.  Studies have shown that patients with your particular diagnosis stand a better chance of avoiding a recurrence the longer they stay on these meds.”  Hearing that replaying in my mind made me realize that if I am going to make it on these drugs for the long haul, I think I might need to discuss ways to help curb some of the side effects they are causing!  So, I finally bit the bullet and sent a note to my doctor sharing some of the symptoms I have been experiencing.  Of course, she was immediately concerned and wanted me to come in the very next day and discuss things a little more in depth.  After explaining what I have been experiencing, she wanted to rule out anything more serious and sent me down to the emergency room for immediate tests and scans.  I assured her that I didn’t feel that it was anything more than just side effects to my medications.  But, she explained that many of the medications I am on and having had cancer, make me more prone to blood clots or potential heart damage.  So, off I went to spend five hours getting poked, prodded, jabbed, jabbed and jabbed again (damn veins).  As I had expected, my EKG and CT Scan all came back clear.  Yippee!!  That means that my issues are very likely a side effect of the stupid medication that she “would like to keep me on for a minimum of 10-15 years.”  The good thing is, there are four different medications that are available to try for my particular cancer.  So, that gives me plenty of options to try and find one that offers the least amount of side effects.  The bad thing is, I have tried the other three and those all left me itching from head to toe and prevented me from sleeping at night!  We tried a few other medications to try and offset the itching caused by the meds I need, but those never seemed to work.  So, the one I’m taking now, was our final option and had SEEMED to be causing the least amount of negative side effects.  Until recently.  My Oncologist has recommended that I stop taking my latest medication for four weeks and has prescribed me steroids (that I have not yet had time to pick up) to see how I feel.  Miraculously, it’s only been four days and I am already experiencing an improvement in some of my aches and pains.  So, all of the rambling I blabbed on about, brings me back to why I decided to write this post first plac.  I decided to write this post so that once these four weeks have passed and I am back on one of the four medications that I need to be on….I can look back at this post and remember that one day I will be done with these medications, this entire cancer journey truly will be a distant memory and I will once again feel like my old 58-64 year old self again!