I had my 6th of 6 chemo cycles yesterday and have decided to either upload some of what I have written since diagnosis on 14th June 2021 or to write something new regularly.

With treatment what I have found is as long as everything goes to plan my world is happy and full of colour - when it doesn’t though as was the case yesterday I struggle with it mentally. From Day 7 - day 1 being diagnosis day -  when I met my oncologist. I have known that I will be cancer free.

When things are changed like medication dosage, treatment day, or medication stopped completely then the doubts set in. In the news I very rarely hear of people being cancer free - more likely that they have died from the disease - to be in the news they are often rich and in some cases powerful so then I think HOW will I do it when so many others with better support and resources haven't? 

What I knew coming into this is that I know nothing of what is to come from a medical perspective and I imagine from a medical persons view they tell me just what they think you need to know. From my point of view the more information I have the more prepared I will be mentally and therefore physically.

An example of this is one of the medication I have been prescribed, carboplatin, was reduced to 50% of the initial prescription due to the creatinine clearance number rising after cycle 1. In speaking to my oncologist's primary nurse she said the haemoglobin number was what led to the medication not being  increased for cycle 6. Yesterday - treatment day the nurse looking after me elaborated on this and I have therefore added more iron rich foods to my diet. Had the haemoglobin not been mentioned I would not have altered my diet by adding more iron rich foods to help myself. 

I feel like the hippie patient in House M.D who insists on being talked through the recommended surgery and treatment and visualises it to heal herself. I am not that much of a hippie that I rely solely on meditation and visualisation so  I am using the medically prescribed treatment as well as using my mind, body and environment to heal myself.

Happy to have the last chemo cycle behind me now begins the rest of the treatment.