Journal
At the end of January and at the end of my trip to Germany, I became very ill. I was first diagnosed with a kidney infection and after I returned to the U.S. on February 7, I was diagnosed with pneumonia.
Unfortunately, I kept getting weaker and sicker and had lung surgery to take out what they thought was an infection trapped in my left lung. The lab report confirmed that I didn't have pneumonia but that I had mesothelioma.
That probably sounds like a strange diagnosis for me since it's caused by exposure to asbestos; however, I grew up in Seal Beach, California, and, during that time, my dad worked at a factory cutting asbestos pipes. Although this diagnosis tinks, I feel fortunate in many ways. First, I didn't get sick sooner than I did. I remember praying when my kids were young that I wouldn't get it until they were adults. I've also come to appreciate the prayers and support of my friends and family like never before. I've also experienced God's peace and comfort in new ways.
People often ask how I'm doing emotionally. I'm doing very well oddly enough. Those few months that I was so sick, were a gift in some ways because they gave me time to prepare for the actual diagnosis. I knew mesothelioma was a possibility even though my doctors hadn't gotten there yet. I knew that in order to go through this successfully, I'd have to focus on each day and not project as to what my condition might look like in the future. I've learned to trust God daily with my care and, at the same time, know that the future is in His loving hands. I have a picture in my head of being in the Father's arms. In the picture, He is holding me on one side of a big gulf and we need to go to the other side. I don't know what's on the other side of the big gulf, but I do know that my loving, Heavenly Father, will carry me safely through the gulf and deliver me safely to the other side. This brings me immense peace. I'm preparing for surgery and believing that it's going to happen, but, if it doesn't, I know that I'm still safe in His loving arms, and He will deliver me safely to the other side.
Since my diagnosis, my sons have been on a mission to find me the best care and treatment possible. We decided on Dr. Kindler, Oncologist, and Dr. Ferguson, Surgeon, from the University of Chicago. My local oncologist is working with Dr. Kindler to determine the type of chemotherapy. My local oncologist is amazing and I feel confident that he is also giving me the best medical care possible. I plan on going to Chicago for the surgery and some followup treatment.
I'm just finishing my first round of chemotherapy and start the second round on July 1. Fortunately, I feel a lot stronger now than I did before I started the first round of chemotherapy.
On my good days, I'm working hard to increase my lung capacity and strength by walking briskly for one mile. The goal is to go through enough rounds of chemo to shrink the tumor and allow me time to get stronger so that I can withstand surgery this fall. If everything goes as planned, I'll have surgery this fall to remove as much of the mesothelioma as possible from the lining of the lung. Then, they will treat it as a chronic disease.
I'd appreciate prayers for:- Physical strength-
- Spiritual strength-
- Comfort for my family
- Wisdom for the doctors-
- That my body will continue to tolerate the chemotherapy
- Healing
I am so blessed. I have had such an outpouring of support from Hood River Alliance Church and the Central Gorge Master Gardener Association, that it touches me to the bottom of my heart. I've received delicious meals, encouraging cards and texts, prayers, and hours and hours of gardeners working in my yard to make it look beautiful. I love you all and will never be able to express my gratitude for all you've done and are doing to support me
Renee
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