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May 12-18

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Hi there. I am still kickin over here. I have been "quietly" enjoying the last couple of months since my last IV Infusion on December 28th.  Thought I'd give you a quick update and know that I am thinking of all of you wondering where I've disappeared to.

We kicked off the new year with a quick trip to sandy beaches and salty ocean air.  After my last post in early December - Round #11, we were given the green light to travel and we booked a trip to Oahu right after our home nurse came and disconnected me. Something I manifested while I was on a hospital bed the first time in March 2022 - I sat there with a surprise Stage IV colon cancer diagnosis, a 7cm tumor in my transverse color, healing laparoscopic surgery sites on my abdomen, overwhelming information overload, and a new friend Tomás the ileostomy.  Remember that? Well I mentioned on Day 12 of that stay that i just wanted to be on a beach listening to the ocean waves.  Here we were 11 months out, doing just that.  Was a great six days and was the recharge we both needed to start the year! Check out the Kaimana Hotel and the use the honeymoon card to get upgraded to a 360 degree view of the vast Pacific Ocean to watch both the sunset and moonset everyday. We were very grateful and shared a lot of cries and BIG smiles that week.

Of course, six days after our return to the realities of Minneapolis - freezing cold and a never-ending snowstorm, I was in Urgent Care/Emergency Room with a fever, achy body, and shortness of breathe. Oy. The rollercoaster of the journey returns.  Never knowing what to expect but rolling with the punches.  This was the first weekend that Jeffry and I were apart. He spent the weekend with his family in Ohio for second Christmas, a tradition we've done since we've met.  Thankfully my sister and niece were in town and helped me through the chaos.  Don't know what I've would have done without them and the laughs and food adventures that we shared to get through the weekend. I was diagnosed with a bronchial infection and given antibiotics/steriods to recover. Of course this all worked but took a couple weeks to clear up and here we are, Tuesday February 14th, hoping to have a full two weeks of a healthy prognosis!

There were a lot of conversations with our oncologist to get to this day, of which, plans were canceled (trip to Miami for a wedding), a delay on my oral chemo treatment to start in March and to focus on recovery (lay down when you feel it and hone in on the breathing practice - hello Wim Hof, check his technique out), and overall the awareness of my tendencies to over-exert myself in order to keep sane and connected (organized our annual offsite for over 100+ people. One of the best in the years I've been at KNOCK - also nothing beats in person connections especially when I've been quarantined and usually not my choice). We've also gotten some great results in our current bloodwork and scans - still all clear, and no evidence of disease and no new growth! Good news all around that we hold tight and all these reminders, puts life in perspective and that life isn't linear and should be a balance of serious and fun, but mostly fun, right?

I've been thinking a lot about time and the moments we create each day that disappear the next day- with only the memories that we can remember. I recall saying this before but as I get older, time seems to fly by so fast and how do we hold onto the memories we make.  One year you are doing one thing and the next you are a completely different person.  I think about this because my cancer diagnosis anniversary is coming up on March 1st. That date is in 2 weeks and trying to remember what we were doing just last year is hard to grasp. I do know that I was complaining about stomach aches and how it was going to affect me eating a steak - that I do remember! Weird huh?

Hope you are all settling into the new year with new journals, new goals, new vision boards and new outlooks on what this year will bring. The beginning of the year is always a mixed bag of dreams and reality. Time never cooperates but you control the time to make your dreams a reality - day by day.

Take that trip, eat at that restaurant, be with the people that make you happy, jump in the ocean (I didn't do this for those that know me), make time for something, hang with your love, go to breakfast, breathe always, get the haircut, take the risk. Make the time make you fulfilled. Till next time. Here we go 2023!

Leaving you with this piece from Dhiman, one of my favorites....

"Each day is another opportunity for you to live your life a little less afraid, to choose yourself, to listen to your heart and not what the world says. Don't let your struggles and difficult days plant fear in your heart, my friend. Don't let your misfortunes tell you that you do not deserve anything else. Remember: if you dare to believe in your self, new doors will open; if you choose to carry on, the chances will come again. One day at a time ,you just have to hang in there through it all and trust that when the right time comes, life will unfold itself in the best way."

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