Hello friends…

This is not the news I would ever want to share, but I have breast cancer. Specifically: invasive ductal carcinoma. The good news is it is a common type of breast cancer. I’m grateful it’s something they know how to treat and it’s not rare. I am not interested in being a “helper” to science by discovering a new type of cancer. 

What’s crazy to me is that I feel amazing. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt better in my life, yet I’m hosting a tumor that if left untouched, could kill me. So, we’re not going to leave it untouched. We’re going to mess it up, ruin its life, and bury it for good. That will mean a trifecta of chemotherapy, surgery, and possibly radiation. Bummer. 

How did you find it?

In the fall, I had a sensation that didn’t feel “normal” to my body. I made a dr appointment, she didn’t feel anything but recommended a mammogram. I got one, and then another, then a biopsy, and voila, cancer. 

Breast cancer doesn’t run in our family. I am the breast cancer pioneer. Longevity runs in our family. Three out of four of my grandparents lived into their 90s, so I intend to do the same once this is behind me. 

Where will you be treated?

I will be treated at Fred Hutch in Seattle. My treatment will be in a few phases which will change/adapt/morph as needed as we go. Phase 1 will start with chemo beginning sometime in mid-May. I have roughly 5 months of chemo. Phase 2 will be surgery. Phase 3 will most likely be radiation. 

How are you doing?

Fine. I’m not happy about this per se, but I’m not devastated. If you average those out, I guess I’m just fine. I feel disappointed about this unwanted interruption because of the loss of vitality and normality. I don’t want to feel sick, I don’t want a port inserted under my skin, I don’t want to lose my hair. I worry about our kids, Neal, and some of the unknowns. But I also feel confident. My jaw is set, I feel determined, a little cranky, and surrendered to the process. There are some drawbacks to this season of my life and yet I know there will be good too. I am on the lookout for all the beautiful things and I know I experience many. I won’t be walking one step of this path alone. All is not well with my body right now, but it is well with my soul.

How are Neal and the kids?

Ok. Right from the start Neal has been so supportive. He’s all in and will do anything to help me get better. I’m grateful for him. He is loyal and is bearing this burden along with me. I’m thankful he’s on my team and will walk every step with me. “Talking about it” doesn’t always make him feel better, but an encouraging text or note might. 

The kids are sweet, kind, and concerned. When we told them a few weeks ago there were lots of tears, but everything was on the table. We were very frank and honest. We gave them the freedom to talk about it (or not), ask any questions (or not), and express any emotion (or not). They can tell anyone they want to (or not). In short, we want each of them to process this experience in the way that’s most comfortable and helpful for them. I don’t want them to have a “brave face” in front of me because frankly, sometimes we don’t feel brave and that’s ok. 

How can I help?

Glad you asked. No one can do everything! But, when a lot of people do something small the overall effect is huge. 

Send me stuff! I love getting letters, cards, fun magazines, flowers, gift cards, friendship bracelets, paintings, drawings, prayers, verses, gift cards, etc, etc, etc. I’ve always been a fan of snail mail and if you are a friend from a distance, let’s put the good old USPS to good use. If you need our address please ask my sister (info below). Send me recommendations for your favorite podcasts, shows, movies, and documentaries. Nothing sad, scary, or depressing, please.

Make me laugh! Send me Instagram videos (@rachiemitchie or @mitchellfreelance), send a funny book, etc. I want to laugh my way through this. 

Pray for me. If you are a praying person, I would be so grateful to know I am lifted up in prayer. Pray I get better, the cancer is killed, I am cured, and all of the millions of prayers in between. Pray for Neal and our kids.

Support my family. An encouraging word via text, email, or mail to Neal or one of my kids would mean so much. In addition, my parents and my siblings are bending over backwards for me and knowing they are supported and cared for ultimately helps me too. 

Financial Gifts. As of now, we don’t need to fundraise to pay for treatment or surgery, but if financial support is your favorite way to support us we’d be blessed to have funds to pay a house cleaner, gas in Hollis’ car, activities for Dane, and other minor expenses that come up here and there.

Entertain Dane. This boy is so fun and friendly and loves to do fun things. He’s always up for an adventure and would love to go to a playground, a skatepark, the trampoline park, your house to bake cookies, Top Golf, a bike ride, to the mall, to play soccer or golf, go swimming, etc. He has a few summer camps already scheduled, but I don’t want him sitting around on an iPad all summer or depending only on Neal to entertain him all day, every day. He gets out of school early on Wednesday afternoons and school is out June 18th.

Bring food. I will be trying to eat organic—lots of fruits and veggies, lean meats—no fast food, no alcohol, minimal sugar, nothing highly processed. I want to give my body the best chance to recover and though I don’t think food is equivalent to medicine, I do think caring for my body in this way helps it in the recovery process. In addition, Hollis is a vegetarian (doesn’t eat meat, but does eat eggs and dairy), so most likely Hollis and I will eat the same meals. I don’t want Neal, Ryder and Dane to have to eat a vegetarian diet. They deserve meatballs, lasagne, tacos, and Chick-fil-a! 

Gift cards: Door Dash, Uber Eats, Chick-fil-a, Chipotle, Cafe Rio, McDonalds, Starbucks, MOD Pizza, Pagliacci Pizza, Dough Zone

Here is our meal train link: https://takethemameal.com/IVSO9326

How to NOT help!

Cilantro. I hate cilantro. It tastes like a mix between soap and sweaty armpits. Don’t bring me food that has cilantro in it or a sprig of cilantro for good luck. 

Stories of other people. This might sound mean, but we don’t care. Unless you’ve been through it yourself my case is specific to me and I will only be taking advice from my medical team and a small handful of “trusted advisors.”

Advice. Along the same vein, I don’t want suggestions of alternative treatments, tonics, oils or magical cancer cures. Again, if you’ve gone through it I’m interested in something that helped, but if not, please don’t. I will have similar feelings about your advice as I do about cilantro.

Staying too long. We will be picky about visitors when we need to be. If it’s an ok time and you come for a visit, please keep it short. Definitely do not come if you are sick, sniffly, or running a fever.

Thank you in advance for the love, encouragement, and support you will show myself and our family. You might feel like your contribution is small, but it is not. Everything means something to me and I receive it all with humility and gratitude. I might not write an official thank you note (don’t tell Nana), but I will have a permanent one composed in my heart. I am grateful. 

My sister, Sarah Hanson, will be on point if you have questions, need my address, want to donate money, etc:
                                                                   sarahehanson@icloud.com | 206-683-9499 | Venmo: @SarahEhanson44

With love and gratitude,
Rachael