From: The Kynard House

“Post Notes & Parkinson’s”

Finding Our Balance

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Do you remember playing on a teeter-totter in the playground when you were younger? 

 

Remember what a challenge it was to find the perfect balance between two people...one goes up while the other goes down? 

Our life changed dramatically ten years years ago when Tommy was diagnosed with Parkinsons. 

 

Ten years later, add dealing with how Parkinson’s affects a person’s well being while trying to find and keep a semblance of  balance on life’s see-saw. It’s an even bigger challenge. 

 

As Tommys caregiver, I find that while he’s trying to stay on his feet, I’m (literally) keeping him (at times) upright. 

 

Trying to keep us both on an equal plane; him physically and myself emotionally & spiritually is awfully hard when one of us is off kilter and pulling the other down. 

 

Where is that sweet spot...the even keel that helps one’s day run smoothly? Tommy and I are a pretty matched team, we’re good friends but there are days that I’m just not dealing well with our heavy burden or the physical aspects that make Tommy’s side of our see-saw hit the ground with a hard thump. 

 

I fall flat and it’s then his turn to even things out. Later? I’m not so sure, so I’m thinking ahead and seeking respite. One of my avenue is through contemplative art. 

 

I took an art class a few years back and part of our lesson was to discover our spirit animal. Though mine did not turn out to be my favorite (the kangaroo) I realize that I have an affinity for the beautiful and unusual mammal. 

 

The kangaroo has a very strong counterbalancing mechanism for its long leap. It’s found in its tail. 

 

For us, our balancing mechanism is faith. Faith like the springy tail of the kangaroo enables us to take a leap of faith when necessary. 

 

We have many stressors in dealing with Parkinson’s. In rough days, I wonder whether we are effectively handling the ups,  and those harder than normal downs,  of the neurological disorder that afflicts him. 

 

Whether we like it or not we must seek balance or we’ll spend more time hitting our bottoms on the hard ground of reality. 

 

When that happens, and trust me it will, accepting it can make the ride smoother when we can put into effect components like courage, strength, love, endurance and passion while trying to land on solid ground on our own terms.

 

But, I’m human with emotional ups and downs. 

 

PD hurts! Falling flat hurts! 

Struggling to land safely or ease us  onto safer ground is truly an accomplishment. 

 

There are moments when I am hanging on by a thread, my temper has flared or I fear for our sanity. 

 

And then, I realize that I am indeed like the kangaroo. I will nurture or protect  my PWP. Like the mother kangaroo I will carry the load. 

 

I can spring into action when he’s threatened by the inability to either balance out his neurological problems or has hit rock bottom. 

 

He, in turn will balance us out and we’ll find those even moments, and maintain our sweet spot in marriage. 

 

As my mind wandered a few nights ago, I started doodling on a Santorini Stone and remembered what the kangaroo does naturally with power and might. 

 

As for me and the Kynard House we’ll  practice leaps of faith and trust that God will lead us through this and keep us balanced on a relatively smooth ride on our teeter-totter called “life as it is”.