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May 05-11

This Week

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I am so grateful for having Carolyn by my side. Strong and supportive, long may it continue. Jane keeps texting me little hearts - I think she has me on her mind all the time, bless her. She worries what to tell the girls, Carolyn is helping there. Stephen and I are close and I will no doubt be relying on him quite a bit in the future. He has been doing quite a bit of research on lung cancer and wants to meet with the oncologist to really get to know and understand what is going on.
Then there is the growing list of friends and family as they hear of my condition. I have spoken with my brother Graham - emotional, we have a promise to each other to keep in contact more frequently. I emailed Carolyn's family and have had encouraging emails and phone calls. The overall sentiment seems to be "What a bugger" or alternatively "bugger, bugger, bugger". The cordon widens, a cousin of Carolyn has heard and sent a lovely email, and of course we are keeping the Britnells in the picture.

I repeat, my attitude to this is twofold. I am nearly 80, have had and am having a good life. I don't want to go yet, but am realistic to the future. I am sure that if I was a lot younger (Steve has a friend of 47, family man, who is riddled with cancer and a very short outlook) I would be very, very angry. I am not. The oncologist has told me that apart from when I am having treatment, I will have a good quality of life and (with luck) will see my 82nd birthday.
The second attitude is that I still have a lot of living to do, and I intend to get out there and enjoy it.

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