Dear Family and Friends,
I've posted the pictures from the past 3 days. We (Tessa, Trish and I) walked in the Susan G. Komen Seattle Breast Cancer 3 Day. Good grief, this was so much more than a walk...it has been a journey. We came to you for support, prayers, donations, training walks with us and the names of loved ones to write on our shirts. We anguished over the training and kept going all while raising funds. In total we raised $7,958 as a team. The over 2,000 Seattle participants raised $5.2 million for research and access to health care for women with cancer.
  
We left my house early on 9/11. I thought of the many who would be remembering a past 9/11 and loved ones lost. I wanted to dedicate the day to life and being with two women I love dearly. Tessa, my strong daughter led the way. Her uphill strides kept me focused and moving. I thought I'd stop because I was out of breath, my joints hurt and lunch that day seemed so far away. We got to the top of a hill and there was a teacher with her little 2nd grade class, clapping, cheering and waving signs at us. I put my shoulders back and kept going...up another hill. I watched several women who were just as tired as me, push Glenda's wheel chair uphill, each one taking turns to get her to the top. She'd pushed her own chair to that point.

The firefighters dressed in full gear walked past, Trish mentioned eye candy and we kept going Tessa still leading the way. I'd told myself that I'd take a van to lunch...then we arrived at a firestation where little old ladies passed out cookies, candies and mints all the while cheering and thanking us for our efforts. The music blasted "How far is heaven" by Los Lonely Boys. I kept going...

We made a 12 mile trek to lunch. Grace, kindness and caring sat amongst us while we ate. Crew members gave us water and kept asking if we needed anything. I could hardly move from sit to stand yet it was OK. I reminded myself that a year ago I couldn't walk up the stairs at home...and I just walked 12 miles! I convinced Tessa and Trish to bus back to camp so we could set up our tents, eat, shower and sleep so day 2 we'd be sronger.

Camp bustled with helpers, unloading our bags, handing out tents, directing us to our new address, ours was F79. Tessa and an angel put up our tent. The angel moved on to others while I sat in awe of it all. Tessa, face down in the turf drifted off to sleep. It was over 85 degrees and I pushed her to get up and eat, then we took showers in the huge semi-trucks that had endless hot water and fresh towels for us. 'We had spaghetti for dinner, great music while debriefing our incredible day. My arm swelled a bit, from the day's endeavor but I felt so whole and amongst the humanity that understood our past year, our fears and our hopes as we sat there sharing a meal.
I left Louise at home and realized throughout the day that many women did the same. It was a day to BE.
Tessa put us to bed at 8:00pm.

Day 2- we ate breakfast at 6am, dressed and packed our energy bars, lip balm and filled our water containers. We headed north to Everett passing some Boeing Machinists from the local union. They cheered and waved, thanking us for walking. The day was already getting warm. Tessa and Trish walked with me. My legs harbored lead bones and my feet were numb as usual. Cars on the road honked and their passengers waved. Supporters along the road provided drinks, otter pops, snacks, bubbles, cheering, drum playing and high fives. Tessa and Trish pulled ahead at the 5 mile mark and I promised to sweep van up to to the next pit stop. I was having an alignment issue and kept veering off to the right as I walked. We joked but determined I needed some rest.

The van took me to the next pit where I waited for Trish and Tessa. The wait seemed endless. I met a young man who wore a t-shirt imprinted with the pictures of his mom and her 4 sisters, his "aunties". There were only two noted survivors on his shirt.
There were cheerleaders at this stop and they kept welcoming the walkers as they arrived. I watched two mid-30's petite women, walk up the hill, drop their packs and start cheering and moving in unison. They were friends for many years, cheerleaders in high school together and they cheered "let's get aggressive, get get agressive!" One jumped in the air and the other caught her, going down on one key but never dropping her friend. The teen cheerleaders were teary...and cheered them on.

Tessa was finally in sight! I was trying to get my camera turned on to take her picture. She wore a HUGE SMILE. She grabbed me and gave me a big, long hug. I started to cry, the cheer squad leader started to cry, then the cheer leaders. Good grief I missed my girl and there she was grinning as she walked up that hill to hug and hold me. We met Bustier Guy and another guy who is walking in every walk across the nation. He raises the $2300 while on the walk, selling flags and handing out book marks with positive endearments printed on them. He sang, and danced with the cheerleaders. We rejuvenated and left camp heading toward lunch. We'd complete 12 miles by the time we'd reach the park overlooking Puget Sound. John called to tell us he, Sam and Caro were coming to see us. Aunt Susan left a message that she's coming too.

We met Duck Guy along the way. He rode a harley decorated to support the walk, he was at street corners helping us cross safely. I drank so much liquid that there weren't enough bathrooms for me! A young mom and her little girl set up their sprinkler for us to walk through as we moved along. Many more supporters, cheering came out of their homes, set up lemonade stands and had loud music playing for us. I really needed a bathroom long before a pit stop and a small bar on the street had a welcome walkers sign. I went in and used the facilities while the kind bartender told me he'd fill my water bottle. Tessa and Trish joked about me going into a bar...and kept walking. Of course I caught up to them and passed them and I did not have vodka in my water bottle!  We walked many more steps, talking and laughing. I stopped to give some water to a woman whose eyes were burning...sunblock I think...it was so hot and we were getting sunburned too. At the bottom of a hill, I waited for the sweeper van. I had less than a quarter mile to go but I was exhausted. Tess and Trish kept going. There was a house on that street, decorated and playing loud music. The owner was a 9 year walker, though this year she decided to be a supporter. She had amazing snacks, flowers, a plastic pool to dip one's feet in, otter pops, ice, you name it she had it. Many of her neighbors did the same.

I took the van to the park to wait for Tessa, Trish and the family. I had never felt so glad to sit. I spoke to the firefighter sitting behind me. He wore his full garb and carried an oxygen tank with the photos of those he carried with him. He was part of a team of firefighters and their wives were with them. An older woman with fibromyalgia was convincing a medic that she could walk 3 more miles to the next stop. A young girl found her brother who was walking for his girlfriend with her best friend. They chattered and smiled telling me their love was going through chemo and they were doing the easy part. I thought of Tessa's friend Annie. So many people, so much life, so many stories and I was humbled and honored when someone shared theirs with me.

Tessa and Trish arrived...Trish walking like Duck Guy at this point and I am worried. Tessa removed her shoes to change socks and revealed many blisters. We sat and shared our journey with one another. Sam ran up and grabbed me. Many kisses, more kisses and hugs all around. Trish went to the medical tent and was told she'd popped a bone in her foot out of place. She was done for the day. Tessa couldn't get her shoes back on and I was still trying to recall what day it was. We decided after 12 miles in the hot sun to ride back to camp. While we were kissing Aunt Susan good-bye, Trish put her shoes on and left for the trek. She's a stubborn one, made of tough stuff and though her feet were done, her heart was not.
John drove Tess and me to camp. We spent the next 3 hours drinking fluids, eating small snacks, and then taking our showers. I met a woman in the shower that had a double mastectomy. She told me she wasn't embarrassed about her scarred body. She said warriors bear scars and she's proud of hers. Battle on...
I was worrying about Trish. I sent her many texts, called her many times. She did not respond. Announcements about the heat of the day and the numbers of walkers still out on the trek made me more anxious. We waited at the tent for her...finally she strode toward us...not too fast, but wearing a GRIN that said it all. She'd walked the whole day...22 miles! The bone in her foot had popped back in to place and she was feeling pretty good though tired and hungry.
Tessa stayed at the tent, staring at her AP Biology book...and I went to dinner with Trish. She met some amazing people and introduced me to the little old lady she walked with. I was grateful for this woman who stuck with Trish. Trish stayed and witnessed the wedding of two crew members who'd met several years ago at a walk after both losing their spouses to cancer. They wore pirate costumes and worked at the 3 day helping the walkers. They married in pirate garb...and we had wedding cake for dessert.

We went to bed at 8 knowing we had to get up at 5am, take down the tents, eat, dress and bus down to Seattle for the final day and the closing ceremony in Memorial Stadium.
We walked from Northgate, south to Green Lake. It was a beautiful morning and I prayed my rosary again this day. This day was mom's anniversary...and I held her hand as I walked. I met a survivor that was just one week finished with chemo. She had short hair she'd sprayed pink for this journey and she walked with a cane. Her young children kept texting her to cheer her on from their home in New Mexico. I walked with the Texans for TaTas girls for a bit. They were ya'llin me with their jokes, their chants and their youth! We walked past businesses in Wallingford and ate some amazing cookies. A young woman placed a neck cooler around my shoulders and will never know how much that helped. I kept thanking the cheerers, and now I weep as I walk. I carried the HEALING flag for 3 miles. A lady wearing pink angel wings asked to carry it further. I was dragging at that point and thanked her for asking. I pictured mom with me, holding my hand as I crossed the street. She's younger than me, at 36 and she's strong enough to keep me going.
I waited for Tessa and Trish at the 8 mile pit stop. We bus to lunch. I gave my ice pack to a woman that broke a bone in her foot when she fell off a curb. She was going home, tears streaming down her sunburned face. Her team mates held her and took her camera and name badge with them as they continued on. I held hands with a young woman sitting next to me on the curb. She'd come from the medical tent, she would walk no further. She was in pain, frustrated and sad. She cried and I held her hand. She got on the lunch bus with us. We gave her a woven bracelet with a pink ribbon on it that we'd made while fundraising.

Lunch was at Volunteer Park. The mass of humanity was decked out in pink and moving slower than I'd ever seen. Some used canes, some a crutch, some just walked ever so slowly. We watched two small children calling "mommy, mommy" as they ran to hug their mom. She cried as she tried to pick them up and hold her lunch sack. Her husband strode over to hold them all. Grandparents were there to cheer their granddaughter they raised after their own daughter died of breast cancer. They shared that they were so proud of both their girls.

I was going to stop...but after lunch...I got a second wind in my spirit. I walked out of the lunch park and kept going. I prayed my rosary again dedicating each decade of Hail Mary's to those I love, those I've lost and those who battle on.
When we were kids my Grandpa Montoya would care for us in the summer. We didn't have a car, but we went everywhere. For the next 4 miles, I walked those memories of my childhood, with Grandpa. He wore his straw hat, a short sleeved blue shirt and his green pants. I walked to Peppa's in my mind to have a soda, I walked to Uncle Ed's to play with my cousins, I walked to Bessemer Park to watch the Old Timers little league play ball. Those memories were strong and Grandpa was with me. He had a strong heart and such a good nature. I missed him, loved him and thanked him for giving me such wonderful memories of walking.
I had to stop after 5 miles. My hips were hurting and the curbs were really high...or so it seemed. The two women in the sweeper van told me jokes as we traveled to the next pit stop on the Seattle water front. The pink walkers blended with the homeless who stared and wondered what this spectacle could be. I sat for a long while. I had two hours to get to Memorial Stadium which was just 1.2 miles away. I visited with a family who was visiting Seattle and came down to cheer the walkers. Their gram had battled cancer and they felt her presence there with all of us. A young woman shared my bench and called her fiance to tell him she'd see him at the stadium. She had many photos and names of loved ones lost pinned to her fanny pack. We shared those moments as she read the names on the back of my shirt...no stories...just knowing.

I walked down the water front keeping a pink cowboy hat that was ahead in sight. There were honeymooners, vacationers and others lined up on the sidewalks waiting to get to their cruise ships. More cheering supporters dotted the walkways, children clapping, a man crying in a wheel chair, women wearing pink wigs and bizarre outfits to make one smile. Music and honking at almost every corner. I climbed stairs and had to stop to rest. At the top of the stairs a coffee shop, FLUSH toilets, some cold water and some shade. I looked out over the sound and remembered the first time I saw that view. The day after we drove from Colorado to Seattle, John walked me down to the waterfront and proclaimed "WE ARE HOME!" It was beautiful.
I kept moving down the street. It was sooo hot and I stopped at a crossing after watching a taxi almost run over me. A crossing guard for the 3 day, pounded on the trunk of the taxi as he backed up, oblivious to the group of walkers stopped to cross the street. Our guard was tired, but she fired up and made that taxi driver aware and a little bit frightened. She was awesome! Duck guy was there again quacking us on. He was walking like a duck and it wasn't to be funny. I stopped about a block away and realized I could not take another step. I'd used up all I had and was ready to sit. A young blond 20 something, wearing pink framed glasses and a pink feather boa asked if I would hold her hand and help her cross the street. I complied though she knew I needed her more than she needed me. She told me I was one block away from the stadium. She kept chatting, never letting go of my hand. The streets were crowded, lined with so many people. The sea of faces made me nauseous and I just wanted to get "somewhere". My handholder kept me close as she maneuvered me past the people wanting to touch, hand out fliers, vitamins, beads and other stuff. She walked me through the throngs of cheering people at the doors to Key Arena, to the ladies with the scanners who counted me "in" and down the stairs, those endless stairs to the floor of the arena where many walkers were waiting and cheering for us as we arrived. I really needed to see my girl and Trish. They gave me a pink t-shirt which all survivors of breast cancer would wear to closing ceremonies. I found Tessa in the stands. She held me and we cried together.
She led me through all the obstacles this past year. She trained with me me, raised money, and led me through so much. She is an amazing young woman and I pray that she never has to experience cancer in her body. We sat and watched the joyful chaos as walkers arrived. Trish finally arrived too. We did it! And it was more than a walk. We cleansed ourselved of the negative energy of cancer, we healed our inner hurts, we united, we were part of many others, we were a family with so many others sharing life, hope, and spiritual strength.

The faceless voice asked the survivors to go to the floor and the other walkers to go out first for the walk into Memorial Stadium. I was standing there and saw Glenda again. She was the last walker in. Last...but not least. She was a survivor of cancer. She'd also been in a car accident many years ago. She had steel pins in her neck that were causing her pain at that moment. She'd never been away from home and her husband kept callling her. She flew with her wheelchair to Seattle to "see' Seattle and "do" the walk. She pushed her chair most times, let others push her when needed. The medical team kept watch over her telling her she might be going home. She fell and had an open knee that was bandaged. She would not leave though. She was shaky and at the end of her energy. I arranged her chair and decided that I could push and she could ride and we'd get into the stadium together. She held my arm, and explained that someone stole the foot rests off her chair at the airport so she'd have to lift her feet as I pushed. We found an elevator and then ramps and joined the parade of walkers. Glenda and I were at the end of the group so we didn't knock anyone down. I felt as though we were walking into a colosseum after beating the lions. The cheering was so loud and we just stood in the sun and reveled. Glenda was my hero right then. She kept saying "I really did this, they told me I couldn't and I really did this!" She inspired everyone on the walk to carry some part of her hope, to help her one step at a time. She allowed many to help, graciously accepted help and knew that with help we'd all get to where we needed to be. Holding on to the handles on her wheel chair kept me standing and her hand grabbing for my hand kept me connected to a precious life...a life modeling "live now...no regrets."

We cried through the music, the cheers and the love raining down on us. John came onto the field and held me and Tessa and we were overwhelmed with gratitude. Trish's hubby and supporters came and hugged her and us too. We were all related in that moment and blessed.

My life goes on and I am thankful for all I've experienced. The focus is not what cancer has done, but what I can do. My heavenly Father loves me, has blessed me and calls me to walk with Christ to love others. I am here and accept my ministry. I love you my family. Thank you for all you've given selflessly.
God bless.

Paula