Why doesn't anyone tell you how hard the quiet is going to be after losing a loved one? Or that no matter how prepared you think you are, you're not. Grief doesn't come in 5 neat stages, it is messy and confusing, not only for yourself but for those who love you. However badly you think it is going to hurt, it hurts a million times worse. You lose yourself, your identity, your meaning and your purpose overnight. The grief process is about not only mourning the loss but getting to know yourself as a different person. There are days when you feel completely alone, even though you're not. The people you think will be there, will not and those that you least expected become your biggest supporters. We spent nearly 2 years on this incredibly beautiful, scary, emotional rollercoaster and now that it is over, it seems even scarier. Losing her has left such an empty place in our hearts and has given me a new outlook on who and what is important in life. We would like to thank everyone who has given us hugs and food and support over this journey. We will cherish the memories that we have (there are many) and we will, in time, learn who we are without her.
Hug your parents.
-Alexis