Hello All,

Jonny and Mark are gone for the evening, and I have Heidi Girl laying on my feet.  It is pouring outside, and the massive drops are running down my big front windows.  I have made a zucchini bread with the bounty from our neighbors garden and the house smells of cinnamon.   Alexa is playing softly, and I am a bit emotional.  A few days ago a friend of mine passed from this dreaded disease. She was my biggest cheerleader, optimistic when I was beat down,  and believed my life had value and was worth fighting for.  Like me, she struggled for years bouncing in and out of remission, hospitals, and therapy.  And you know what?  I never even met her face to face.  Her husband worked with Mark and they live on the East Coast.  Our paths crossed a few years ago when I was getting my stem cell transplant and neither one of us ever looked back.  I would be down, she would be up, and vice versa.  We understood each other and the difficult hand we had been dealt.  We could talk candidly about our fears and our hopes that were often too much for family members to take in.  She never waivered in her commitment to me, nor did I to her.  We were isolation buddies and kept each others head in the game, and love in our hearts.  She was a writer, and is the only person who has seen sneak peaks of my journal that I have been working on for quite sometime now.  But now she is gone, and I must face this reality I am living without her friendship.

So how do I honor her? How do I let her know that I will continue to climb this mountain for the both of us?  The only way I can think of is to continue to write about my experiences, thoughts, hopes, and failures.  I will continue to be the face of this evil disease for the both of us.  I will continue to smile and find joy in my family.  I have so much to look forward to....Mark just retired and our ice cream shop will be open again soon, Jonny will graduate from Madison in December, Ro and Emmett are getting married in January, and Katie and Mike are having a baby in February.  That is enough blessings for a lifetime.  Blessings that my friend will never see here on earth.  

I hope that each one of you has, or will find a person that you can connect with on an entirely different level.  A level that is different than that of a connection with a spouse, or a child, or a sibling.   It is a connection that can only be given by God  when you need it the most.  His timing is impeccable, and I am thankful he steered Les in my direction.  I will continue to forge ahead in anticipation of all the blessings that are laid out before me, and I will carry Les in my heart during all of it.  Well done good and faithful servant.  My heart breaks only because it has loved, and for that I am thankful and I smile.

Love,

P