All of you know me I think but I am Lindsay, Pattie’s middle daughter.  I  would like to start by thanking all of the people in this congregation for all of the support that you have shown my mom and our family this past year.  All of the meals, taking my mom for drives, all of it.  It means the world to our family.  Everyone in this room were my mom’s favorite people in the whole world.  Thank you for being here today.  Our cousins who came here from Florida, Chicago, Iowa...thank you for making the journey, we all love having you here.

In 1952, my mom, Pattie Le (Hoffman) Beckman, was brought into this world on the most dreaded day of the year, “tax day”.  She is the 5th of 6 children from her mother, Velma Hoffman and father, Cyril Hoffman.  She wed my father, Michael Beckman on September 30th, 1978.  

As my cousin, Twent Wobert Witzenthaler so eloquently stated, my mom was a nut, she was the best kind of nut, she was our nut.  She was absolutely one of a kind.  I think all of us here today can think of times that my mom made you belly laugh.   The kind of laugh where you can’t breathe and your sides hurt.  There are too many “Pattie’isms” to count.  Most of them are completely inappropriate to share here but I will share a few of the church friendly ones.

Pattie-ism #1 - “boyfriend” or “Mikey Dikey Doo”

Apparently, mom’s brother John gave them 2 years.  Well, John, you were a little off.  They were happily married for 42 years.  And when I say happily I’m not just adding that adjective to make things sound pleasant.  They were HAPPY years.  I don’t ever remember my parents fighting.  Teasing each other and mom losing her temper over my dad vacuuming, yes, but fighting, no.  They have the strongest marriage that I have ever seen.  What an example they have set for us all.  They travelled together, camped, biked or whatever my mom wanted to really.  My dad was along for the crazy ride.  And, what a fun ride that must have been! 

My father deserves special praise today.  Dad, thank you for taking such good care of my mom for all of these years but this past year she needed you the most.  You did not leave her side.  You were her rock and you had to do things that other people just wouldn’t have been able to do.  I will never, in all my days, be able to thank you enough for what you have done.

Pattie-ism #2 - “My Favorite”

My mom told every single one of my cousin’s that they were her favorite.  That’s the kind of person she was, she made you feel special and at that moment she said what was on her heart.  She made you feel that you truly were her favorite.  I will settle this now for all here today, it was Trent. 

She did the same with my sisters and I and I remember her saying, “well, you are all my favorite at different times but I love you all the same.”  She did, she really did.  I don’t remember a time in my life where my mom wasn’t a phone call away.  If she heard even a small sadness in my voice she would make up some silly excuse to come for a visit.  Like, well, you know, I need to come and go to Costco so, why don’t I just stay over tonight?  Sounds good, mom, thanks for reading my mind.  She’d come, know exactly what to make for supper, fold all of my family’s socks and just her presence was enough.  She was there for me on countless occasions, but I will never forget, when I was pregnant with Archer, how she was there for me.  I had a placental abruption and my mom knew how scared I was.  She stayed overnight at the hospital with me and took care of my family the entire time. 

My mom and I had a tricky relationship.  We were probably the most different of all her daughters.  I wish I would have just appreciated her for who she was, nut at all.  I think I will kick myself for that for a while.  She loved me anyway and never changed for anyone.  She was who she was and if you don’t like it you can “blow it out your ….”. 

So, we were all her favorites but there is only one baby.  Carly, who my mom called “Schnoopie Poopie Loopie” and my mom had a very special bond that could be irritating at times but so, so special.  Carly do no wrong in my mom’s eyes.  I have never seen someone dote on their mom quite like Carly did.  She always stuck up for my mom when Kellie and I would tease her relentlessly.  I mean, we are her daughters, so…..

My mom and Kellie had a true sister-like friendship that I was always slightly jealous of.  They had so much fun together just hanging out and laughing.  Kellie is another person that deserves extra praise for her role in  my mom’s final days.  I won’t get into specifics but I will just say thank you, Kellie, we would not have been the team we were if it weren’t for you.

Every time one of us girls moved into a new apartment or house, my mom would drop whatever she was doing for the "big move".  She would come and make sure everything felt just like home.  I remember, after the move and decorating, we sit on the floor of the new place, drink wine and just stare and talk about how cute it was. 

Pattie-ism #3 - “Mama”

Now that I am thinking through all of this, my mom had a very similar relationship with her mom.  She was fiercely protective of her mom and always lived either down the street or right next door.  I don’t remember a time that my Grandma wasn’t invited to almost every single dinner at our house.  "That’s my momma" she would say.  They had so much fun together.  They would go fishing, hunting for aggots, watch the shooting stars, have their 5’oclock glass of wine, and make the best food. 

Mom, don’t worry, my cousins and I have made a pact to perfect your meatballs.  There will never be a holiday without them.  She was such a good cook.  She was the kind of cook that could see five random ingredients in the fridge and make a delicacy out of them.   Her staples were her applesauce, slow cooked ribs, mac and cheese, pasta salad, and egg pancakes.  She always has diet squirt and some random, delicious cheeses in her fridge.

Pattie – ism #4 – “We are Family”

After my mom’s sister, Sheree, passed away in 1992, my mom took her children and wrapped them in all the love.  There wasn’t another option for her.  When Tom remarried, my mom befriended his new wife and made sure we all understood that Crystal’s children were our cousins now.  I don’t think anyone will disagree she is the reason that our families are so incredibly close to this day.  

Gosh, the countless memories that we have made as a group are so hard to recollect.  We had an annual “Northwoods Bash” at Ritzenala every year where my mom made matching t-shirts and we had a tournament of games.  You knew you were going to make it in our family, if you could handle the craziness of those weekends.  Roshelle, almost left a few times.  Just kidding.  But seriously, my mom lived for weekends like that.

She loved to camp with her grandchildren.  She actually just loved being with them in general.  She doted on them and would always say really inappropriate things about how they were the cutest in the whole world.  She spoiled them rotten and and they loved her for it.

You know what?  Im not going to lie.  This isn’t fair.  She got totally jipped.  She should be here right now loving on those kids and watching them grow.  She should have been able to see them this last year and not been afraid of the damn Coronavirus.  There will come a day, when the pain and anger of this incredible loss will turn into just joy and love in remembrance.  But for now, we will all grieve the loss of such a big, bright light.

That brings me to Pattie-ism #5 – This Too Shall Pass

My mom would say that when my sisters and I were going through a rough time.  I can feel her saying it to me now as well.  I am going to read a poem by E.E. Cummings that I have always loved and I hope it brings you some comfort during this time as well.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done

by only me is your doing,my darling)

                                                      i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

I have this vision of my mom entering the gates of heaven.  My Grandpa Hoffman and Aunt Sheree meet her at the gates holding my baby Mason.  They all rejoice and she takes my baby and holds him in the air with the sun at her back.

Link to video from funeral:  https://clipchamp.com/watch/sxvRwrnhY0q