As I sit here surrounded by so many reminders of the love of friends and family (cards, letters, gift cards, cakes, cookies, drinks, food, paper products, medical supplies, etc, etc) I am consoled by the thought that maybe, just maybe, with the continued help of so many, I can actually get through this.  I am still so numb and shocked and sad that I expect most of what I say seems gibberish or rehearsed, or equal parts both.  I'm not sure I'll ever be able to verbalize how I feel right now.  But, I feel grateful when I look upon all of these expressions of love.  Grateful when I realize that Our Savior sent all of you to minister to Pam and her family during the most difficult time of our loves.  Grateful that though she suffered a while, it was relatively brief.  And, now, great is her reward in Heaven.  The funeral last night was inspiring and uplifting and just novel enough that Pam would have absolutely loved it.  I will forever fondly remember each facet of the service and each comment made.  Having our beloved young ones bring the roses in at the beginning of the service was especially poignant and relevant.  Pam and I truly love each of them and they love us.  I am also grateful for those that viewed the service online and took the time to comment afterwards.  I'm grateful for all the Facebook comments as well.  I truly love each one and especially the photos of her you've shared.  I'm sure I'm forgetting some other things I'm thankful for but please know how important you have all been to me during this time.

Many of you know that Pam and I were high school sweethearts.  We started dating in December of our Senior Year at Crest and have been together ever since.  To say she was my soul mate would do our relationship a disservice.  We were that and so much more.  She was my co-minister, my counselor, my confidant, my encourager, my cheerleader, my conscience, my companion, my exorter, my visionary, my constant channel of peace, and, most importantly, my daily reminder of the presence of Christ right here on Earth.  I cannot fathom how I'll get through the rest of my life without her.  I know I have to.  I owe it to her to do it and to do it right.  My family, friends and faith will help me.  God will come along side me and lead me and will send others to help.  In my heart of hearts I know that will be true.  It's just, I can't abide the thought of a world without Pam Callahan.  It is so much more dismal without her and I'm not sure that will ever change.

Pam loved many things in life and loved sharing those with others.  She especially loved her family, music, laughter, children, trees, sunsets, flowers, learning, teaching and sharing her faith.  When you encounter or experience these same things, think of her and smile.  She would be so very pleased.

I feel I need to end this now.  Perhaps in the future I'll share a more thorough account of our life and love, one that does her justice.  It will be a novel and will contain great and wondrous ideas that most of us can't even fathom.  Pam saw life differently than most of us and her story should reflect that.

God bless us all as we go forth into a world without Pam.  Let's spread some of her around when we're out there!

Robert