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Jun 02-08

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I haven't updated - just because I haven't been in the mood. Most of you know why. I had my appointment with Dr. Porter. Good news...the spot on my hip has diminished. There will be no need for a rod in my hip. August 4th will be my 3rd Chemo. Not sure how many Dr. Stephenson plan on me doing. Hopefully just 6, like the first time. My hemoglobin is down pretty low as well. So I have to have 2 Iron infusions. Hopefully that will give me some energy.

I'm so over everything. 

My mental and emotional state is fragile. Not fragile like a flower, but more like a glass, or a bomb on somedays. 

I have an appointment today with a funeral home, to make sure everything is taken care of for the future. Please don't comment that I will live for a long time, etc. Death is inevitable....and at least I'm at peace with it. 

That's all folks...that's all I have to say. Please don't expect optimism out of me. Please don't expect cheerfulness. You will get the exact opposite if you ask for otherwise. Don't tell me what Xavier would want...because to be honest, he's knows exactly how I would and will respond to current events. If you catch me on a day that I'm being hateful or uncaring, know that it's not personal - I'm doing good to get out of bed most days. 

Honestly - I  wouldn't of gotten this far, if I didn't have my husband, Chris (Gino). He's the true un-sung hero in this story. 

Thank you all for the support. It's most appreciated - even if I'm incapable of showing it at the moment. 

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