Today is my 40th birthday. I'm not usually prone to making a big deal about my birthday and that's not my intention here, but this day comes with a bit of retrospection. On the surface this day looks like birthdays I've had every other year: I had a nice birthday dinner last night and opened some gifts...I just have a few less bones to celebrate with. The reality is, though, that this birthday comes with couple gifts I've never had before.

The first gift is simply an overwhelming realization at how beautiful life really is. I continue to express to Mandy that I really feel cancer blesses my life with an awareness that I don't think I had before; an awareness of the value of my life, the value of other's lives, and the fragility of life. There are so many components that go in to it, and I've always believed life is precious, but I have been blessed with a deep sense of gratitude and knowing of how truly precious a human life is and at the end of the day that precious value comes from the fact that each person is created, intentionally, on purpose with a purpose, by an almighty God. Less than a year ago we were faced with the harsh reality that this life is so temporary; and in coming face to face with that it makes it easier to simply love other people. People still rub me the wrong way or do things that upset me but it's easier to settle down and come back to that realization that even those people are valuable simply because they are people, and there should be a gravitas that comes with that (I don't have to invite them to my birthday party, but I can still love them).

The second gift came yesterday as I got in my truck to come home from work. I am in several chondrosarcoma support groups on Facebook and people post about surgeries and recoveries and trial meds and info and all sorts. Yesterday, someone from Canada reached out to me privately and said they had chondro on the top of their chest and they had just got the surgical plan from their doctor. They are losing the top of their sternum (the manubrium), potentially a small portion of a couple ribs, and some of their right collarbone. They were very scared and didn't know what to expect in recovery and were looking for advice. Really they were looking for comfort and solidarity and it was truly a blessing to be able to genuinely offer that to them. We finished our conversation as I sat in my drive and a wept a little bit. I wept thinking back to all the things we faced as we awaited surgery and considered the "what-ifs," I wept in sadness for this person as they are scared and don't have anyone to help them through their worry or in the after, I wept with thankfulness that the Father will not waste my cancer and allowed me to use it to truly comfort another human being.

After sharing my thoughts on what the plan was for their surgery and sharing some tips on recovery (a bidet is a game changer), they expressed a relief and calmness and optimism for the future. What a gift for us both.

So, as I reflect on this day that is a milestone in my life I do so with, what I would call, a profound new sense of solemn joy and thankfulness for both another year and for the blessings that God has given me. As hard as it's been I still put cancer in to the "blessings" basket. Even though it's changed our lives forever I believe we've been given a gift that heightens our love for each day and recognizes a little more deeply that each day is a gift and each life worthy of dignity and respect.

And what other explanation could there be, that we can call cancer a blessing, other than that God is a good God, and He loves us?