Dear and Beloved Friends and Family,
It is the full flush of Spring here in Boulder: flowers popping up all over the place, the streams and creeks full of water, the mornings full of birdsong. Like the land around me I am feeling the quickening of restored vitality and life renewed. It is truly amazing to have been so scoured, so close to death and to experience Spring again.
Mostly what I want to say to you all right now, from this particular juncture on our journey, is thank you and bless you! You are amazing. Each and every one of you has been absolutely essential to my survival, my successful journey through the hospital and my ongoing recovery. The prayers, the meals, the financial support, the help around the house, the treatments, the conversations and the get well cards. All of it. Meg and I now have the privilege and responsibility of being examples of what can happen when a community/family truly rallies around in a time of crisis and great need. You did that for us. Massively.
Throughout my time in the hospital and the first couple months of being home I felt your prayers and practical support as a constant presence surrounding me, filling me, bolstering me. The importance of this could never be overstated. The honest and obvious truth is that this is the sort of circumstance which could have easily wrecked Meg and I in so many ways. I am beyond happy to say to you all that this has not happened.
Which to me is one of the most valuable lessons/gifts/understandings from this whole journey. That we need not be wrecked by the great traumas and adversities that come to us in our lives. That it is indeed entirely possible to be blessed and transformed and strengthened by even the most harrowing of experiences. And, perhaps most significantly, that there is so much that we can do for ourselves and for one another to support the beneficial navigation of such moments. That it is so much easier to achieve this kind of success when we are not trying to do so in isolation.
In the light of that I want to take a moment to sing the praises of my most beloved and amazing Meg. Not surprisingly to anyone who knows her, she has remained infallibly committed and capable throughout this entire seven months. She has held me as I’ve cried, safeguarded my healing journey, challenged me when I’ve needed it, been by my side as I learned to walk again, leaned into the dark unknown with me, embraced this ridiculously intense moment of complete dismantling and transformation for both of us and stayed centered in her brilliant heart and her superb wisdom time and time again. Meg, you are truly an exceptional human being, always have been. Worthy of emulation and the sincerest respect. I bow to you my love, together forever.
Before I close, I want to highlight the piece I said above about embracing the moment of dismantling and transformation. For both Meg and I this has been one of our central practices and orientations throughout our adult lives: learning how to open to, trust and ultimately welcome adversity and challenge when they arise. At this stage of the game I know that the crucible, no matter how painful and terrifying, always delivers a gift of profound and life-serving value. Without question, one of our biggest assets when the shit truly hit the fan last October was that this knowing and capacity were already very well grooved in both of us.
I will close with letting you all know that my physical recovery continues to proceed with great grace and vigor. I am a long ways off from what we might call full recovery but I will get there. Can’t run so much yet but I have had some bitchin’ nice hikes of late :) :) As always, there is so much to live for and it is such good fortune to be free to do so.
Until soon, with such enormous love and respect,