Journal entry by Nicole VanDeWalle —
I hadn’t updated in a long time, 12/31/23 to be exact, since that time so much has changed and healed much like the new sprouted growth of the spring. Winters are hard even when the weight of battling a diagnosis isn’t weighing on you, the dreariness of February can feel so long and I couldn’t come up with any positivity. I found myself moving through the days waiting for the next of many things with planned treatments. By mid January the day the storm rolled in I had my last drain tube removed, then continued healing. Things started to move towards developing routines before my husband returned to work, healing happened, and what felt like I may never be totally comfortable again slowly began to improve.
The end of January I was mapped for radiation, what should have only taken 7 days to complete my plan ended up taking 3 weeks. I don’t understand all things radiation other than it is like difficult math equations, and my radiation oncologist is very precise as there are vital organs close in the radiation field. My treatments commenced the end of February daily Monday through Friday, involved me holding my breath in durations of 10-30 secs , and today I rang my second bell for completing this duration of treatments. Weather mostly cooperated, my skin not so much I did have a 10 day break after developing a radiation burn and dermatitis, but things have healed and now I can check this hurdle off my list.
I met with another oncologist at the university of Iowa who specializes in breast cancer to help confirm and devise long term treatment plans.
I started on a monthly injection for ovarian suppression as I have estrogen hormone positive cancer and to start my oral treatments I have to be in menopause. Those started in February, receiving my 3rd dose last week. My first oral treatment letrozole started this week, and next month I will start another oral treatment verzenio, this treatment regimen is newer since 2018 and used more with women who are younger breast cancer patients. These will be part of the routine for a 2 year course and 5 year course.
I also had an appointment with a gynecologist oncologist, as I still need a hysterectomy and my gynecologist had to pass the torch to someone who specializes in female cancers with my history. Plan right now is to have that done mid July.
The next months will be labs, and new base line scans, pre-op planning.
There has just been a lot, a lot of follow ups, new appointments, new treatments, but also quite moments. The quiet moments are the ones that get you, make you think, absorb, bring on thoughts, fears, and reflection. It’s learning to keep moving forward with that blind faith that all of this has worked. That there is still a mountain, but hopefully not another climb.
I will keep moving forward, slowly gaining new normals, listening to my body, and regaining some semblance.
I want to thank everyone for their continued support and prayers.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” Hebrews 11:1
Here is to renewed hope, and as always Peace, prayers, and positive vibes 💕
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