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May 05-11

This Week

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A year ago today, early in the morning, Neal left his earthly body.  It was sooner than we thought it was going to be and we weren't ready to say good-bye quite yet (as if you ever are ready!)   But I wonder if it was the way Neal wanted.  It was a gentle passing - 1:30 in the morning - just quietly left on his own terms - not wanting anyone to see him weak or "old".  He was after all only 93!  I think of it now as a tender mercy that he did not have a lengthy period of diminishment but finished strong and fully who he was.  We miss him dearly.

We started having a family zoom call every Sunday afternoon a year before  he died. His brother and spouse  and all of his children and spouses are almost always there as well as a great assortment of grandkids and great grandkids to round out the circle.  Joys and concerns and lots of remembrances  - of course hotly disputed about who remembers the way it really was and who really was to blame.  Mom denies almost everything that anyone brings up about her tricks and involvement!  But that sly smile and gleam in her eyes tell the real story!

So today we spent some time remembering Dad on this one year anniversary of his death.
  • His genuine welcoming to whoever walked through his doors
  • His way of making you feel that you were his favorite
  • His way of really seeing you when you were taking to him
  • Mom said she always felt secure when she was with him and how much she misses him when she gets into bed and he isn't there.
  • Singing Bill Grogan's Goat and singing with mom their old college songs
  • and of course the really important things 
    • how he ate spaghetti cutting it with a fork
    • and how there was only one way to make a correct cup of tea
So, what would you add to this list?   What did you love about Neal and what do you remember about him? Take a minute - add your name and memory...

It is memories that keep him alive for us and honor him the best by living out in our own lives who he was and what mattered most to him.   Thanks Pop for being who you were and continue to be for us.  We love you and are so lucky to be loved by you.

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