Hello! It’s Natalie writing today. A lot has happened since we last updated you all, but I wanted to keep it short and honest. In summary, the past week has been straight-up terrible. I am home now resting from all the chaos and I think the whole family needs it. 

On Sunday night/Monday morning, I did an all-nighter in the ER with a terrible virus that wasn’t allowing me to keep ANYTHING down. It was the worst I’ve felt in a while. I got supper dehydrated so they said they had to admit me. Though it was probably the best idea, I had been pumped with medicine that made me so jittery it felt like I was crawling out of my skin (while sleep-deprived). Anxiety was through the roof and to know I was diagnosed with cancer in that exact room was bringing up a lot of flashbacks. After begging to go home they finally let us be discharged and I slept for probably 20 hours at home while my mom woke me up to make me drink Pedialyte so we didn't have to go back in. The next day I got labs, requested from my doctors, and slept some more. Monday to Wednesday felt like a blink because I was asleep basically the whole time.

Wednesday night we  headed to my full brain and spine MRI that we do every 3 months. The MRI was about two hours and being sick while laying there with loud noises was probably my worst scan experience. It made me very nauseous and dizzy because of the strong magnets so I had to be wheeled out and of course, went right to bed when I got home.

Thursday I woke up feeling a little bit better so we headed to my echocardiogram (which was perfect) and oncology. Quick to it in a positive my scans are stable again!!! Our appointment lasted almost 3 hours because of all the complications and crazy questions we had. At this point, I can't tell what symptoms are chemo-related, cancer-related, or normal teenager-related. It's the hardest thing ever. After a very long discussion about hormones and symptoms, my team decided that we would be taking a small break from chemo just to figure everything out and give my body time to catch up.  When I say I think my body is so confused and out of whack with everything going on it's so true. I spend my days in bed and if I go to school I come right home and sleep. Taking this break from chemo is scary but we will re-scanning in 8 weeks to check on the tumor and my team reassured me they have plans for any result. Over these next few weeks, I'm going to try to fix my symptoms, try new medications, get more bloodwork, and also start physical therapy to work on my endurance which is totally destroyed. We talked a lot about how physical activity helps with my mental health and I'd be lying if I said my mental health wasn't struggling a lot right now. Luckily, I have the best support system and doctors and I am very confident I'm going to bounce right back after we get everything under control. It's going to take a while, but it's all in God's hands and I trust him.

My parents have been absolutely amazing this week and I feel so lucky to have them. Both my mom and dad didn't leave my side or judge me for any thought or feeling that came to mind. So shout out to the best caregivers ever:) 

Thank you all so much for all the well wishes as I am home recovering and I hope you all have the best Halloween and stay safe!!

Lots of love, 
Natalie