Well we are getting super close to the end of this journey.  Not sure if I haven’t updated lately because I didn’t want to “jinx” anything, or if it is mostly because this spring has been so busy.  Maybe a little bit of both. But we have less than 30 days until Makayla has completed her chemotherapy treatment for t-cell leukemia, and we could not be more grateful!!

This whole thing has taught us so much, and has really defined our family for the last 2 and a half years. We have survived each new round of  “new normal”,  became much closer as a family, and learned a lot about ourselves. Now, we are facing a whole new round of “new” normals. A whole new set of rules and changes. And I would be lying if I said all we are feeling is excitement. There is definitely some apprehension, anticipation, and trepidation, and some terror. We will continue to have Devos monthly but we will no longer be treating Makayla for cancer.  We won’t be doing anything to stop or prevent it from coming back, and that is scary. Makayla has a whole new life to re-discover and re-shape. She has a ton of recovery to do! Both physically and mentally and emotionally and spiritually as well. She has a long way to go to feeling like a “normal” teen again. So there are a lot of feelings about this end. 

What is true is that without the daily chemotherapy and the 5 day regime of steroids each month she will feel better!  And that is all we are counting on right now. Even if it is only tissue paper thin we will know that we will be taking steps forward each day instead of continually back or at a standstill, and for that it is all excitement and smiles!!

Spring has been busy! Matt is coaching Kate's softball team (pray for him hahah), Eli is playing soccer, and then there are swim & piano lessons, appointments, meetings, and everything in between. So time is just racing ahead and we are working to keep up. But we are managing well and the sunshine and later nights help!

We have 27 days as of writing this and we are not at the end yet. Big, big appointment on the 30th with treatment and port removal! Then one final dose of steroids to begin. But the countdown really has begun! Bring on Summer!

Summer plans include Drummond, a TON of physical therapy (pray for Makayla because she is not a fan), pool time, and in general family time! We are also hoping to really improve our entire family's diet and really concentrate on keeping some of the really good things that have come out of this whole thing. 

I hope we continue to put our 5 first. I hope we continue to give time and space to each other. That we continue to care for each other. That we continue to prioritize our time. I hope we continue to keep good boundaries about what we each need. I hope that this weight that has been on my chest since that afternoon in January lifts, and I hope that Matt feels that too! I hope Kate and Eli will feel like life is a little more balanced and fair (at least when it comes to chores). I hope we are able to have more freedom from medicine and appointments.  And that in general we don’t forget any of the really important life lessons we have all learned. 

My new hopes for Makayla are that she is able to lead a much more normal academic and social life. That she will begin to feel like she fits in again, both in appearance and participation in activities. I hope she is able to take this experience and grow from it! That she can use this to her advantage and not just as a college essay, but that some positive someday can be attributed to these trials. But most of all I hope that she can feel proud of all she has survived and accomplished!

Thank you to everyone who has been on this journey with us! To everyone who has shown such love, generosity, and most of all understanding! I think we are most grateful to everyone who has said, “it’s ok.” “we understand” “of course you have to cancel” “how can we help?” and the whole litany of things people have said to reassure us and support us these last two years. We are so grateful!!

Lastly - there are a handful of people without whom we absolutely would not have survived!! You know who you are and I hope you know just how much we love and appreciate you! From rides, to dinners, to hanging out and keeping us sane, helping with Kate & Eli and everything in between! Thank you, thank you, thank you! We love you so much!! 

Matt & Julie