"A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." ~ Proverbs 17:22

     These past 3 weeks have been a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, but we've been doing our best to keep spirits up. At any given time in our home you might hear a "cancer joke", teasing about thinning/losing hair, laughing at my walking, or how long it takes me to get out of a chair. I jokingly have done my best to change any moan or groan that might escape into a "woohoo!" or "yeehaw!" because the younger kids think it's funny. We laugh at bad Dad jokes from Bert (he's really good at those!) and silly jokes the kids share. We appreciate a quick wit, dark humor(cancer jokes, anyone?), and a dry sense of humor. We look for funny in the mundane. Honestly, if we didn't all laugh I'm afraid I'd be crying. Happy hearts are good for us all, and none of us want dried up bones from a crushed spirit. (My bones are already in bad enough shape!!!) ;)

     I went in this morning for the 2nd round of treatment. Last time around, I felt really good for the 3 days after the infusion, mostly because I was on a steroid that made me feel great. Unfortunately, the steroid also made it hard to sleep. I was so exhausted but could not sleep. I tried everything (except the pharmaceuticals I was given) to fall asleep, but basically didn't sleep for 4 days. I listened to a lot of music, prayed a lot, and read a lot as I waited for sleep to come. Day 4 hit me hard as I no longer had the steroid in my system. I felt queasy, tired, and had an overall feeling of malaise. I tried to keep functioning as normally as possible, but basically all I did was sleep in bed or sit in the recliner in the living room. I was also going in for daily radiation treatments on my right hip & left iliac during all this. The good news is the radiation already seems to be working. My right hip pain is so much less! I still walk funny since I still have some pain, but it's not the same sharp pain that it was before. The Radiation Oncologist reminded me that it could be months before I get the full effects from the radiation. More good news: my right knee that had been bothering me so much since about November is finally feeling better! It happened so slowly that it took awhile for me to notice, but it is definitely better now. 

     I came down with a stomach bug last weekend that really added to the fun of it all: stomach cramps, vomiting, diarrhea, & fever took everything up another notch. I slept for 2 days and I guess that was the cure because after 2 days the fever broke and I slowly recovered. Luckily, it didn't pass on to anyone else although we're pretty sure it's the same bug that kept Holland home from school a few days before I came down with it. (She had a fever and tummy ache but it lasted only 24 hrs for her. Lucky!) My doctor told me my bloodwork shows that I am at a high risk for infection so I should be careful about handwashing and should stay away from people that are known to be sick. I will definitely be careful, but am not living in fear of sickness. I'll also be working hard to get my immune system in better shape.

     By the end of last week I was feeling much better, just in time to go in this morning and do it all over again! :) I was told today that my potassium is very low. I asked if it was from being sick and was told possibly, but back when I was hospitalized my potassium was very low, so just to be sure, I was prescribed a potassium pill. It's giant. Like a horse pill. Yay. I googled "potassium-rich foods" and they all sound pretty good, so I'll be eating a lot of potassium-rich foods in attempt to get my potassium levels up. My nurse today also told me that if I get my magnesium level higher it will help with the potassium. So I have some things to work on.

     My hemoglobin slipped from 9.1 down to 8.6 which Dr. Levin isn't too worried about since she thinks it's medication related. She asked if I've been more tired lately, um...YES!...but it's so hard to tell if the tiredness is from the radiation, my new treatments, or just my low hemoglobin. We'll keep an eye on it and hope it doesn't go down any more. I talked with my Naturopathic Doctor's office last week because I know she will have some ideas and supplement suggestions to help support my body through all of this and to help make me feel better. And Vitamin C infusions will be resuming as well. This old body needs all the help it can get!

     We won't really know until after my scheduled scans in June if this new protocol is working. It's been successful for so many women, but my particular cancer is ever changing, aggressive, and doesn't seem to do anything in the "normal" way. My Oncologist told me today that when I told her how fast-growing the cancer was at the very beginning, she didn't really believe me. But now, she realizes I was right. I've never wanted to be wrong more than I do about that.

     Meanwhile, we press on. It's a busy time on the farm with planting season and spring fieldwork. We are halfway through our Spring Babies event at the farm on the weekends. (We have a small festival each spring on the farm---much smaller than the corn maze in the fall---where we have baby farm animals for people to come pet and hold, carnival games, rides, food trucks, face painting, etc. It's fun and festive when the weather cooperates.) It's also a busy time with school activities. Concerts, softball games, baseball games, end of the year projects & festivities, banquets, etc. Life doesn't slow down for anything, even cancer, and for that I am grateful. The more "normal" I can keep life for everyone around me is what I want to do and what keeps me going.

     Thank you for all your prayers. Thank you to those of you who tell my kids you are praying for me. They tell me about it so I know it means something to them. Thanks to those of you I've never met, yet you faithfully pray for me and for my family. The beauty of that encourages my heart more than you will ever know.

(Photo attached is me in the treatment chair this morning.)