I’ve wanted to post one last update here for several weeks but I just haven’t been able to find the words... hopefully today I can.
Today is our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. I’m filled with pain, if I’m honest with myself and you. I’m also filled with gratitude, longing, relief, remorse, hope, hurt... so many conflicting emotions. They come and go like waves to the shore. That’s how it’s been for months now.
I don’t know just how to tell all of you how much it means to me the way you’ve loved and cared for us over these long months. Many, who have been through this same kind of loss, have reached out in understanding~ thank you. Many of you have given generously to help meet financial needs~ thank you. Many of you have come to be present with us~ thank you. Many of you have prayed faithfully~ thank you. Many of you have called or written~ thank you. I want to say so much more. We couldn’t have done this without the care each of you has given.
If I may share a little admonition: love deeply, actively, in the mundane and ‘everyday’ moments of life. Do the little kind things that come to mind. That’s what living life to the fullest and loving fully really is. Don’t wish or plan the days away. Do what you can today to make sure you don’t ever have to look back and say ‘I didn’t know what I had until it was gone.’
I miss Mike so very much and I am so thankful for him. No one is perfect, of course, but Mike loved and lived well and always compelled me to do the same. So today, along with a deep sense of loss, I’m filled up with gratitude. Again, that strange mingling of emotions~ hope and hurt, gratitude and grief. I am also thankful for all the recordings I have of Mike and others playing music together. Today I’ll listen to some and cry and smile and thank God for him, yet again. I hope you will listen again to the message Mike shared at CBC back September, and then do the same.
Love and blessing to each of you.❤️
*The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
